While You're Waiting
by red-bell-again
Summary: Set after Breaking Dawn, Jacob has imprinted on Renesmee and all is well until Leah makes him a rather unexpected proposition. Blackwater- eventually Jacob/Renesmee.
1. Chapter 1

**The Beginning.**

**August 2009**

Jacob pushed open the door to Sam and Emily's home, eyeing the female figure sitting at the end of the long table, the only figure in an unusually derelict kitchen.

His stomach felt heavy, a frown consuming his face as he realised it was Leah and not Emily.

Leah looked up from the half empty bowl in front of her, swallowing a mouthful of cereal loudly. "What's up? Leeches stopped feeding you?"

Jacob walked towards the fridge, pulling out a half eaten pie and placing it on the table behind him, "Whatever, Leah I'm not in the mood for this right now, I just wanna get something to eat and get some sleep" Jacob shook his head and began searching for a fork.

"Maybe you should shower too!" she said dropping her spoon into a now empty bowl "I can smell the little mongrel from here."

Jacob span to face her, a guttural growl escaping between his bared teeth,"What is your problem?"

Leah rose to match his stance. "My problem is that you are practically living with the leeches, you've imprinted on the half-breed. The reason I…we became what we are is to destroy them and here you are curling up at there feet like a good little lap dog!"

"Don't you think I understand that?" He shouted. "Don't you think that if there had been another way I would've taken it? I can't help the imprint; you of all people should understand that. I need to be with her, to protect her."

"You're right!" Leah threw her hands up in defeat, "I do know what it's like and if you're on the wrong end of it, it always hurts…Like with Sam and Bella before Renesmee came along."

"So why can't you let it be? I know we never saw eye to eye in the first place but setting out to constantly pick a fight is starting to get annoying, Leah."

Leah paused crossing her arms and looking to the floor. "I didn't come here to fight with you Jacob."

Jacob frowned again, "Could've fooled me!"

"I heard you," She said quietly "Earlier, when you were patrolling the forest, you told Seth that you would be coming here this afternoon, so I came to wait for you." She said mindlessly toeing the tiled floor.

"Waiting for me? Why?" Jacob asked.

"Like I said I didn't want a fight. I uh…It's kind of a proposition." Jacob could swear he saw a blush flow through her cheeks.

She looked at him expectantly only to be met by an expression that was a mix of both curiosity and shock.

"If you're waiting for me to guess it'll be a while I can't read your mind in human form." Jacob slid a chair out and slumped into it, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

"Do you remember that day you went to the beach with Quil?" she asked stepping closer.

"You're gonna have to be more specific." He was beginning to tire. "We've been to the beach plenty of times." He pulled the pie towards him and took a large mouthful.

"It was a few months ago, before that whole thing with the Bloodsuckers and Claire was with you." She paused "Collecting rocks".

Jacob nodded as he remembered that day "Sure" he said through his mouthful, spraying crumbs across the floor"

"Do you remember what you were talking about?" She asked.

"Not really" He shrugged "Why?"

"You asked Quil if he'd ever thought about dating, with Claire being so young and all" She said quietly.

"Oh...yeah" Jacob shifted uncomfortably in his chair "How do you know about that?"

"Quil was thinking about it… you know before we separated." She inched closer nervously.

"Well… what about it?"

"I guess I was just wondering, since the Mongrel…" Jacob growled "Renesmee isn't gonna be grown up for like another six years if…"

"If what?" he cocked an eyebrow and Leah shifted again puling out a chair and sitting in front of him.

"If you'd thought about… dating, until then?" She asked cautiously.

Jacob twitched, caught of guard by the question, "I…uh," He raked his fingers through his slightly matted hair. "Um"

"I'm sorry." Leah stood, "It's not my business, I shouldn't have asked."

She walked to the door "I just never really thought about it." Jacob shrugged, stopping her mid stride, "I guess that I've been so caught up in Nessie that I really haven't thought about…anything else!"

"So. What about now?" She cocked her head to the side.

"Now?" Jacob chewed his lip "I really don't know…I"

Leah held her hands up, silently halting him "You know what? This is too weird, I can't do it."

"What? You brought it up!" Jacob frowned.

"I know that and now that I think about it… we should just stick to fighting and forget the deep and meaningful." She turned back towards the door.

"Wait!" Jacob stood, "You said you had a proposition for me?"

Leah reached for the door handle. "Forget it Jacob, I was wrong." She twisted the knob and pulled the door only for a large hand to effortlessly push it shut again.

Jacob looked down at her, "No. If you have something to say then say it… I'll just find out next time we shift anyway."

"Well then I won't shift. Happy?" she hissed.

"Fine!" He crossed his arms again, a smug smile forming over his plump lips "Then I'll get the leech to root around in there until he can figure it out. You don't have to be a wolf for him to read your mind."

She opened her mouth to say something, only a high screech of desperation escaping as she stamped her foot, "Fine!"

Jacob looked her, grinning. "Did you just stamp your foot at me? That has to be the girliest thing I've ever seen you do" he laughed.

"Do you wanna hear this or not?" She scowled.

"Hit me" He said composing himself.

"Don't tempt me; I could easily take out a couple of ribs" she hissed.

"Leah…" Jacob sighed, sinking back into the chair.

"Right…well. I was thinking about what you said to Quil" she began.

"About dating until Claire was older" Jacob reiterated.

"Yeah that," She swallowed "and well…um, not so much the dating part."

Jacob frowned, waiting for her to continue "Spit it out Leah."

"This is hard for me okay? I don't do… this." She said gesturing between them before placing her hands on her hips and sighing deeply, "At the risk of sounding like a total spinster."

Jacob laughed, Leah growled at him "Ahem…sorry! Go ahead"

"It's been a long time since Sam, and I've accepted it… the whole imprinting thing. But I'll be the first one to admit it left me bitter."

Jacob snorted "You could say that!"

Leah glowered at him. "Anyway" she continued "I miss certain… things."

"What?" Jacob frowned.

"You know…" she stared at his puzzled expression. "Oh come on Jake; do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Oh…OH!" Jacob flushed bright read, his eyes began to search nervously for something, anything, other than Leah to look at "Um…I don't understand why that has anything to do with me? I'm not talking to him for you!"

"Don't be simple Jacob!" She said, exasperated "You think I would do that to Emily?"

"No, but I don't understand" He shrugged.

"You know, you may look a lot older than seventeen but you got about as much brain power as a toad!" she huffed "I don't want to ask Sam… I'm asking you."

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Jacob raised his hands defensively, backing away from her.

"Relax Jake; I'm not going to jump you!" She laughed dryly.

"But… Renesmee" He stammered.

"She is still a child she will be for the best part of a decade" Leah sighed "I'm not asking you to pick me over her; I'm not looking for a relationship with you."

"So you… you?"

"Sex Jacob! No relationship, no strings, no making love… just sex." Her voice turning into a breathless squeak.

~8~

Jacobs mind raced uncontrollably as he ran through the forest, branches whipping at his skin leaving welts, brambles and thorns tearing at his exposed torso and legs, only for the scratches to disappear within seconds.

His feet pounded against the forest floor. He had not phased, he needed to be alone as Leah's voice rang in his ears.

_"I'm not asking Sam…I'm asking you…just sex." _

Just sex.

_"Why me?" He'd asked._

_"We may not have got on well in the past, but you're always there when I need you. There's something between us that…it's just different." She tried to explain._

_"Leah, I…" he stammered._

_"No!" she held her hands up, "No, not love Jacob; I understand about the imprint, no love between us. Its trust or ease I think."_

_"Huh?" His puzzled face returned._

_"I can always be myself around you, I guess it's because you were sort of going through the same thing as me. Unrequited love can be a spiteful thing." She smiled._

_"But it's not like that anymore." Jacob frowned._

_"I know that," Leah nodded "but it was and it was easier knowing that you were there. That's why I left Sam's pack and followed you…well that and you took Seth with you. I would have gone completely insane!"_

_"You're already insane" Jacob cocked an eyebrow._

_"Clearly!" she chuckled._

_Jacob breathed deeply as Leah walked towards him, stopping with only inches between them. He could feel the heat radiating from her, even with his own temperature raised so high._

_Tentatively she raised her hand, placing it palm flat against his stone like chest. She smiled feeling his heart race that little bit faster under her touch._

"_Uhh…" was the only voice he could muster as she traced the definitions of his muscles from his chest to his stomach, shivers firing up and down his spine uncontrollably._

_Leah rested her hand on his waist, bringing the other up to match on the other side. Rising on to tip toe's she nudged the hair hanging at his neck out of the way, brushing light kisses from his collar bone to his ear, all the while listening to his breathing become more unstable._

_Jacob closed his eyes, placing a hand in the small of her back and pressing her against him, closing that final distance between them. He dropped his head, burying his face in her hair, breathing her in as her kisses became little nips at his skin, slowly working her way along his jaw until she found his mouth._

_"Relax Jake." She whispered through heavy breath, kissing him hard._

_He growled, catching her by surprise, her eye's desperately seeking his for an explanation. His hands grabbed her waist lifting her off the floor, slamming her roughly, back first, on to the kitchen table, resting his body on top of hers before crushing their lips back together again, his kisses rough and urgent._

_Leah whimpered as he pressed his body tightly against hers, her legs drawing up and locking around his hips, and her fingertips dipping in and out of the waistband of his sweat pants._

_Jacobs eye's shot open, and he pushed back sending himself crashing to the floor. Leah sat up, pulling her top down and pushing her slightly sweat matted hair out of her face._

_"Jacob?" She looked at him puzzled as he righted himself and got to his feet "What's wrong?"_

_"I'm sorry" He said huskily "I shouldn't have let that happen."_

_"What? Why?" Hurt was evident in her voice._

_Her eyes darted from Jacob to the door without an answer, voices growing closer before it was pushed open, Paul and Quil barging noisily through it and stopping as they spotted a slightly dishevelled Leah atop the table._

_"Geez!" Paul chuckled "You look awful"_

_Leah looked at where Jacob hand been standing, but he was gone. "You're a complete ass Paul!" she growled, sure that she caught a glimpse of him running into the trees._

Now here he was, back in the forest and heading for the Cullen's, to see Renesmee, to fight with Blondie, anything to take his mind off…off Leah.

He broke through the trees and glanced up at the porch. Edward was seated on the steps, eyeing him curiously.

Jacob remembered a trick he had heard from Alice about clouding her thoughts.

_"Z Y X W V…" _he began to recite silently.

Edward rose, smiling "It's no good mutt; you know I heard everything already!"

"It's none of your god damn business, Cullen!" Jacob growled.

"Hey!" Edward held his hands up in defence "I can't help what you think about or what I hear. You know I'm more tuned to you now…especially in human form"

"Well I wish you weren't." He scowled, dropping onto the step next to Edward.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Edward asked lightly.

"Eww," Jacob grimaced. "No I do not want to talk about it!"

"It might help?" Edward shrugged, and Jacob snorted "Fine, but the offer is there if you ever want to".

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, and began to walk across the porch to the front door.

"_I'm so confused."_

"Understandable." Suddenly Edward was back, sitting next to him on the step.

"I have this love for Renesmee, that I literally can't control." He said quietly. "I'm bound to protect her, be her friend when she needs one, be there for her when no one else can be and…"

"_Be her lover when she is ready for one."_

"Watch it mutt" Edward hissed.

"This was your idea!" Jacob exclaimed.

"I know but if you could please refrain from thinking of her like that, it would help our situation." Edward asked.

"But I don't think of her like that." Jacob frowned, "You know how this works, we have an unbreakable bond, an invisible thread that connects us and I will be what ever she wants me to be. At the moment I am nothing more than a brother to her but it will change."

Edward nodded. "I understand that…However it doesn't mean I am comfortable with it."

They both paused, Jacob's eyes dancing over the trees.

"But from what I understand, that isn't what has got you so confused?" It was a statement more than a question.

"Well it has some to do with it." Jacob confessed "Just as I'll be everything Renesmee will ever need…She'll be the same for me."

"But?" Edward prompted.

"But right now there are things I _want_…things I can't control." He picked at his fingernails.

Edward smiled again. "I will not pretend that my re-collection of being a seventeen year old human is anything other than an extremely distant blur, but I'd like to think I have some idea what your feeling."

"Oh really?" Jacob frowned.

"Yes Jacob, really." He nodded "If I didn't then quite frankly, their probably wouldn't be any Renesmee. Which… would solve both our problems, wouldn't it?"

"But she is here." Jacob growled.

"Yes she is, and neither of us would have it any other way?" He asked.

"Never!" Jacob answered.

"And she will still be here, years from now, when she is ready and grown and knows what she wants… and when I give you permission." Edward added quickly.

"Fu…" Jacob started

"Ah ah, down boy… that will add an extra decade on to the waiting time." Edward wagged his finger.

"_Fucking leech!"_

"Bad dog! I heard that!" Edward smiled "But back to the point… Until then you have a life to lead, you can not put that on hold while you're waiting, even dogs need companionship"

Jacob punched Edward in the shoulder, barely moving him standing. "I guess?"

"_Where'd Seth get to?"_

"Kitchen annoying Rose, she made a dog bowl for him too." Edward answered the silent question.

"Bet he loved that?" Jacob smiled.

"Actually he fashioned a wooden stake out of a chair leg." He chuckled, "Would never work, obviously, but the sentiment was quite funny!"

"Hey Leech?" Jacob said turning back to him "Uh…Thanks I guess."

"Any time, pup." Edward nodded.

"And don't you…" He cut Jacob off.

"I know, don't tell anyone." Edward waved him in to the house and pointed "Kitchen".

And with that Jacob, walked through the house, stopping momentarily to kiss the forehead of the sleeping Renesmee, and into the kitchen.

He stood next to Seth, picking up the stake that sat next him on the counter "He bro, see you got own bowl" He smile, nodding towards the vessel of twisted metal, the name "Lassie" etched into it.

"Yeah" Seth smiled "Now I really feel like a member of the family!"

"Speaking of family," Jacob swallowed hard "Do you know where Leah is?"

Seth shrugged "Last I heard she was patrolling out there." He nodded towards the woods outside the glass wall, "I'm supposed to take over in about a half hour. Why?"

"You know what?" Jacob sighed, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. "I think we all need a night off, there's been no trouble around here for months. Go home, get a proper sleep, see your mom, I bet she's missing you."

"That would be good." Seth agreed "Proper home cooked food and my bed… oh how I've missed my bed!"

"You mean the porno's hidden under it?" Jacob grinned.

"Hey!" Seth blushed.

"Pack mind." Jacob reminded him, chuckling.

"Whatever" He scowled, blushing from head to toe "I'll go and let Leah know."

"Ah… No let me do it." Jacob said a little to enthusiastically, but Seth didn't seem to notice "You go home…wouldn't want to keep you from your bed."

"Shut up!" Seth said stomping out of the kitchen.

Jacob followed him out in to the front room, the T.V so loud he was amazed that Nessie could actually sleep. "We're gonna give patrolling a rest for the night" He stated to no one in particular.

"Oh good, maybe we can get rid of the smell of wet dog." Rosalie quipped.

"Don't worry Blondie, we'll be back before you know it." Jacob grinned.

_"I'm still not sure about this," _he thought glancing at Edward.

"It's about time you all took some time out. Have some fun" He smiled knowingly. "I think I heard Leah a few minutes ago, why don't you see if you can catch her up?"

"Maybe." Jacob nodded opening the front door and stepping out in to the rain.

~8~

As he stepped back into the familiar shelter of the trees, Jacob strained his hearing, above the noise of the pounding rain and the animals scurrying away to stay dry.

But he couldn't hear her. Sighing in frustration he began charging his way the maze of tree trunks and brambles stopping every now and then to listen again.

"Where are you?" he asked quietly. His body began to shiver, his smooth, rain dampened skin erupted into flowing, rust coloured fur and what was left of his sweat pants fell in rags to the wet floor.

"Leah?" he listened for an answer, his ear flicking around like satellites, waiting for the tiniest sound.

"Go away, Jacob!" He whipped round, following a distant howl, and crashing through the trees.

"No!" He replied "We need to talk about this"

"You made yourself perfectly clear." Even in her thoughts the hurt was evident.

"No, you don't understand!" Jacob paused sharply, his large paws digging into the earth as he listened again "You can't run from me!" He howled darting off deeper into the forest.

"Well I'm damn well gonna try!" she shifted direction again.

"Come on, Leah. Stop, please?"

"No chance! Do you have any idea what that felt like? It was humiliating!" she whimpered.

"I didn't mean for it to happen," He pleaded "I didn't want you to feel that way!"

"Well it did, and I do!" He spotted her through the trees.

"Leah shift back?" Jacob asked running at full pelt towards hers

"Don't make me hurt you Jake!" She said charging at him.

"Don't make me order you!" he threatened.

"You wouldn't dare?" she leapt towards him.

"Change back!" He demanded, jumping at her and shifting mid air.

They landed on the floor with a loud thump, their tangled bodies causing a small crater in the forest floor.

"Get…get off me!" Leah screeched slapping at him, trying to remove her legs from the tangled mess.

"Listen to me!" He yelled, jumping up and chasing after her.

"Just leave me alone." She cried, pushing her wet hair from her face, using her other to unsuccessfully hide her naked body "Haven't you done enough, already?"

He caught up to her, reaching out to stop her flaying hands.

"Stop…" he flinched as she slapped his cheek "Will you stop hitting me!" He caught her wrists and pushed her back with a dull thud as she connected with a large tree.

"Let go of me!" she growled, straining to free her hands from where he held them.

"Listen to me?" He pleaded.

"LET ME GO!" She screamed, twisting and kicking to try and free herself.

"Leah!" He yelled back, pushing his body hard against hers to stop her wild twisting.

"What…What are you doing?" Her anger suddenly replaced with shock, her voice breathless as her chest heaved in air.

Jacob realised that his heart was thudding hard against his chest, threatening to break through against the softness of her breast. His mouth opened only for a strangled breath to shudder free, his eye's half closed as he looked down at her.

Her cheeks were flushed, the rain from his soaked hair falling onto her neck and trailing an invisible path down between her breasts. He loosened his hold against her wrists, lightly encircling them with his fingers and then dropping them over his shoulders.

Leah shuddered as he brought a hand up to her face, pushing a rogue lock of hair back behind her ear, letting his finger slowing flow down her neck and past her shoulder, his hand lightly curving around her arm and his thumb brushing the side of her breast as he smoothed down the skin.

When he reached her elbow, he dropped his hand to the small of her back, the other hand joining it there he pulled her body towards him, filling the non existent space between them and they both gasped as his arousal pressed against her.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" He whispered, resting his head in the crock of her neck… her fingernails raked like claws across his shoulders.

"No." she breathed, her voice giving away the lie.

"Don't make me order you" He smiled as her hand twisted into his hair, and pulled his head back sharply.

"You wouldn't dare!" She hissed, crashing her mouth into his, his hands moving to brace them both against the tree as the urgency of their lust threatened to send them falling to the ground.

Leah broke to breath and Jacob took the chance. Running a hand down her hip, he grabbed the back of her knee and pulled her leg up around his waist, the head of his rigid cock pressing through her folds causing them both to moan. Their hips falling into perfect sync as they sought relief.

"Oh, god" She whimpered, as his movements grated her back against the rough bark of the tree, Looking up she found him staring at her through hooded eyes, concentration furrowed over his brow and a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Kiss…me…please" She asked through strained breath, as Jacob welcomingly obliged, his tongue flicking at her kiss swollen lips, begging for entrance.

She bit down on his lip as she felt a sudden wave crash over her, Jacob holding her weight as her body fell limp against him.

Barely recovered, Jacob lifted her from the ground, bringing her other leg up to lock around his waist and pushing his length into her slick heat.

He heaved in a breath "I wanted to talk to you… to tell you that I needed it…you too."

"Harder, please!" She begged, her head pushed back against the tree, and Jacob readily obliged, shifting and circling his hips in a way that soon had her mewling again, and when his hand slipped between them, roughly thumbing her clit her climax broke, taking him tumbling with her.

Her eyes squeezed shut, her lips resting against his forehead, as he disentangled her limbs from his body and gently lowered her to the ground.

Not as much as I needed you." She smiled.

_"_Hey, dude!" Jared huffed through a mouthful of food, slapping Jacob's hand away from his plate "Get your own damn food."

"Really? Because I was thinking maybe you should start cutting it down a bit, you're starting to get man boobs!" Jacob jabbed him in the chest.

"Boy's!" Emily voice chimed over the laughter erupting from both pack's, Jacob struggling free from the choke hold he was now held in "There's enough food to go around, but I'm gonna start running out of plates if you keep up this bickering."

"It was a joke!" Jacob smiled, nabbing a piece of meat from the plate she carried.

"Only thing funny round here is that smell!" Paul said wrinkling his nose at him "You could at least bathe before you come here!"

"Get over it!" Jacob spat.

Their attention was caught by the opening of the kitchen door, Seth bounding in followed by a somewhat more contained Leah.

Embry whistled, and Jacob looked up at her, all his effort placed in trying to avoid her face.

"See now this is more like it!" Paul chuckled waving a hand in her direction.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She frowned.

"You…this" he gestured to her clothes, "I never would have guessed it, but you are actually a girl…ouch!" He winced, as Jacob smacked him round the back of the head.

"Dude, you're marrying my sister!" He frowned; Leah mouthed a thank you as she readjusted her skirt, attempting to pull it longer than it was.

"Come on, you know I don't mean anything by it?" Paul chuckled, still massaging the back of his head, his eyebrows quickly furrowing as he thought of something "But, dude, you can't tell her!"

Jacob smiled wickedly "Can't promise it won't slip out"

His attention was caught as he realised Leah had sat opposite him. She was leaning across the table at Jared, her slightly unbuttoned shirt now revealing a little more than it had before. Something flicked him on the cheek, and he realised someone was talking to him.

"Huh?" he stammered, his face flushing with colour as he tore his eye's away from her.

Leah chuckled. sitting back in her seat, a wry, guilty smile playing on her lips. "I said are we going to be patrolling today?"

"Uh" Jacob's eye's danced over her face "I guess…I hadn't really thought about it."

"Oh it was quite obvious what you were thinking about!" Paul chuckled, making Jacob blush even more. If it was possible.

"Come on guy's leave him alone." Jared smiled "Besides, the vestal virgin's gotta be aloud get a look in somewhere!"

There was a loud crack, as Jacob's fist connected with the back of Jared's now empty chair.

"Do you mind?" Emily huffed, hand on hip.

"Sorry." Jacob, apologized, his face a mix of anger and embarrassment as he bent to retrieve pieces of the broken chair "I'll fix it."

Leah watched as he left the kitchen, her eye's following him as he disappeared across the reservation "You guy's are complete assholes, do you know that?" she hissed throwing her fork down.

"It's not our fault he can't take a joke!" Paul held his hands up defensively, as Leah rose from her chair and walked past him "Maybe he wouldn't take it so hard if you didn't provoke his hormones?" He chuckled, playfully slapping the back of her exposed thigh.

Seth launched himself from his seat, snarls erupting uncontrollably from him. There was resounding snap as Leah twisted Paul's offending arm, her other hand hard against her brothers heaving chest.

"Never touch me!" She growled, releasing him to crumple on the floor, and then stalking out the door dragging a shaking Seth behind her.

"You had that one coming, Paul" Sam said calmly, returning to his seat, as the door closed.

"Control it" Leah ordered, her hands gripped hard into Seth's arms.

"I should rip his head off!" He growled, his body quivering.

"No, you shouldn't" She replied, her voice calmer "You're better than that. Control it Seth!" She rubbed his shoulders, attempting to reassure him.

"What made him think he could touch you like that?" Seth's voice was slightly calmer.

"Hey" she grabbed his face and smiled. "I'm a big girl, and I think I just proved that I can take care of myself"

"Yeah!" Seth chuckled, his body stilling and his breath calm "That crack was pretty loud."

"Now go home." She pushed him lightly.

"You coming?" He asked, backing away.

"Nah, I'm gonna go check on Jake." She sighed, thumbing in the direction he'd walked. "Don't worry, I'll take any patrol's he's planned for tonight, you have another night off."

"Cool, thanks!" Seth smiled "See ya later."

Leah waved and began walking across the reservation, the red timber of the Blacks garage in sight. She watched as the door swung open and Jacob walked out carrying what she supposed was the now fixed chair. He didn't seem to notice her and walked straight into his house, letting the door slam behind.

She breathed deeply, bringing her arms around herself as if she was shielding against a sudden chill, the porch steps creaked beneath her feet, hesitating as she raised her fist to knock.

"Come on in." She heard Billy shout from the front room.

"Hey, Billy," She smiled "how's it going?"

"I'm good." he replied "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I was just looking for Jake. Is he here?" She spied Rachel at the kitchen door.

"Hey Leah!" She chimed walking in "He came in a few minutes ago, face like thunder. Any idea why?"

Leah winced "Guess?"

Rachel threw her hands up mumbling angrily to herself as she stalked back into the kitchen.

"He's in his room." Billy said nodding towards his door.

"Thanks Billy" she chuckled crossing the room to Jacob's door, watching Billy push himself into the kitchen; she knocked lightly on the door.

"Go away!" He yelled, his voice muffled by the wood of the door.

She twisted the door knob, the un-oiled mechanism screaming against the pressure "Jake it's me."

"I know" He huffed pushing himself up from his bed and perching on the edge, resting his forearms against his knees and refusing to meet her eyes.

"Come on Jake?" she pleaded closing the door behind her.

"Do you have any idea how humiliating that was?" Jacob asked, his pained eye's finally locking on hers, her smile faltering at the look on his face.

"Jake I…" Leah stepped closer, rubbing her hands nervously against the rough denim of her skirt "I was just trying to have a little fun with you, ya know? Kinda like our little secret."

"Yeah well it wasn't fun for me." He hissed, looking back to his feet.

"I'm sorry." She exclaimed, her brow furrowing.

"Whatever Leah, just… can you please leave me alone?" He didn't look at her.

"I'm sorry." Leah repeated, "For everything. I should never have asked what I did of you."

"Maybe not?" Jacob agreed, twisting his fingers.

"I just…I just felt so alone." her voice was trembling, and Jacob twisted to look at her "I just needed to feel close to someone. I didn't mean to hurt you Jake, I didn't!"

She shook her head frantically, hugging herself as tears began streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh no…no, no, no!" Jacob jumped to his feet "Don't cry, please? I don't know how…"

Leah sobbed, her hand flying across her mouth trying to halt it. Jacob grabbed her wrist pulling her towards him and down on to the bed, wrapping himself around her.

"It's not your fault… god I'm such an idiot!" He whispered burying his face into her hair and kissing the back of her head "Leah?" he gently touched her chin, turning her face towards him.

"Please don't be sorry." he smiled lightly smoothing the hair from her eyes "I'm not. I was just embarrassed and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Really?" he nodded "Jared maybe, Paul…well any excuse to smack him is a good one. But not you."

"I broke his arm." she stated sniffing, and Jacob pulled back from her slightly, a questioning frown on his face "Paul. He slapped my ass so I twisted it. You should've seen Seth control himself, he's really getting the hang of it!"

Jacob chuckled "What?" Leah asked, slightly confused.

"Just picturing it." He smiled, wiping away the tears from her cheeks, and she smiled back "I don't regret it, okay?"

Leah nodded.

"And just so you know," he continued, thumbing the buttons to her shirt "the view was kinda nice!" She chuckled and slapped his chest.

"Can I stay here with you tonight?" She asked quietly, "Just sleep?"

"Sure you can." Jacob reached down, letting Leah kick of her shoes, before pulling the comforter over them, and wrapping his arm's tightly around her again. "Anytime". He kissed her forehead, and closed his eye's.

~8~

Leah opened her eyes, the rays of sunlight that intruded through the window fell over her face causing her to squeeze them tightly shut again then blink erratically until they adjusted.

She breathed deeply as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings, her body curling in a cat like manner as she stretched away the kinks in her muscles, stopping suddenly as her back pressed against something solid.

Leah smiled as she remembered where she was, and the solid mass began to wriggle behind her as she slowly turned to face it.

"Hey." Jacob groaned, rubbing his eyes and pushing his sleek black hair from his face "You sleep okay?"

"Good." She smiled deeper, chewing on her lip and snaking her arm over his waist "Better than good, you?"

"Well, you do take up quite a bit of space," he smiled back, his eye's falling closed again as he lazily traced circles up her arm "and you bark in you sleep!…ouch!" he chuckled as she pinched the flesh on his side.

"But, seriously," he continued "I slept fine…Once I finally got to sleep anyway."

"Sorry Jake, I didn't mean to disturb you." she whispered.

"You didn't disturb me!" he chuckled "I've seen you naked and it was kinda hard to forget with you pushed up against me like that!"

Leah blushed "Apparently!" she agreed wriggling her hips against the new hardness she found there.

Jacobs eyelids drooped as she eased herself closer to him, her leg curling over his waist and her hand slipping under the waist of his pants, playfully squeezing at his ass "I can't help that the effect you have on me is so obvious, it's not fair to make fun of it!" he pouted.

"Oh! I thought I was being quite obvious about the effect you had on me?" She whispered, flicking her tongue over his lips, her leg squeezing their hips tighter together, the sudden friction causing Jacob to buck against her, a low growl breaking their kiss.

His hand ran softly over her bent leg, his thumb tickling the inside of her thigh as he pushed her skirt up, letting his had rest on her hip.

Leah smiled into the kiss, Jacob pushing gently at her hip as he tried to roll on top of her. She raised a hand to his shoulder, pushing him back and he looked down at her, confusion flooding his face "You want me to stop?".

"Don't be ridiculous!" she chimed and his confusion grew deeper. "I just don't see why you should get to be in control all the time?" she pushed harder against his shoulder and Jacob relaxed back onto the bed, letting her slide her body on top of his.

"I could get used to this." He grinned up at her watching as she slipped her shirt off, nothing underneath, his hands gliding up and down the skin of her back.

She smiled widely, as his eye's danced over her body, taking in every exposed inch. "You know your not so bad yourself" she whispered lowering her head to his neck, planting kisses as far down his chest as she could get without moving and her fingers exploring the rest.

Jacob pushed himself up, Leah still sat in his lap. With one hand behind her head and one at her lower back he crushed their bodies together as hard as he could, ravaged breath escaping through their urgent kisses as she ground her hips against his.

Leah pushed against him, laying them both back down, reluctantly breaking their kiss and raising herself on to her knees, her fingers clawing at his pants, pulling them down just enough to free him from the material.

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked, his breath frantically fast, his hands catching her waist as she tried to swing off the bed.

"Gotta get these of!f" she whispered indicating her underwear, and trying to free her from his grip.

"Don't bother" he hissed, tugging at the cotton, tearing it like paper and discarding it in rags to the floor. A low hum followed by a sharp hiss as he pulled her down onto him.

"Shh…Shit!" His face contorted as Leah rocked back and forth.

"Be…quiet" she whispered "Someone… Someone might hear…Oh god!"

"You can talk!" he managed, his before biting down his on his lip to contain a moan.

He pulled her down, once again connecting them at the mouth, the minutes passing by like seconds as they moved. Leah threw her head back, her hand pressed against her mouth to stop a scream as her body quivered. Jacob arched his back, his fingers ripping into the bed sheets.

Leah dropped almost lifeless beside him, her legs still lazily hooked over his, as she tried desperately to catch her breath "I guess I should go!" she breathed, her hand pressed against her forehead.

"What? I feel used!" Jacob sneered, his eyes closed, tugging his pants back up to his hips.

"Felt good thought, right?" Leah smiled back.

Jacob chuckled "Sure you don't want to stay a little longer?" He rolled on to his side, his nose nudging a soft spot on her neck, his fingers dancing over the taught flesh of her stomach.

"You're an animal!" She giggled batting his fingers away "I really should go." She sat up pulling her skirt down and retrieving her shirt from the bedpost it had landed on.

Jacob leaned over the side of the side of the bed "Don't forget these," he smiled smugly, holding up her shredded underwear.

"Well they're not much good to me now are they?" Leah swung her leg over him, stopping half way to kiss him, before standing from the bed, checking her reflection in the small shaving mirror hung on his wall.

"Maybe you should just not wear them any more?" Jacob grinned swinging his legs off the bed "Just in case" He chuckled, running his fingers up the back of leg, disappearing under skirt.

Leah yelped and jumped, stepping out of his reach as he sprang towards her, grabbing her face she let him pull her to his lips.

"I really have to go." She smiled pulling back.

"I'll walk you out." Jacob released her and opened his bedroom door for her, closing it behind them.

They both froze as Billy wheeled himself from the kitchen.

"Uh…Hey Billy." She waved meekly.

"Morning" Billy's eye's darted curiously between the two "You staying for breakfast?"

"Uh, actually dad Leah has to go." Jacob said stepping forward.

"Yeah, I should've been home last night, but I umm… I fell asleep." She thumbed in the direction of Jacob's bedroom.

"Well I hope he was a gentleman?" Billy cut a questioning glare at his son.

"Oh yeah!" Leah held her hand up and nodded frantically "He let me go on top…I mean…"

"On top of the bed!" Jacob chimed in eagerly "I slept on the floor."

"Good" Billy huffed, something about his eye's not completely convinced.

"Um…I should." Leah indicated the front door.

"Yeah…I'll see you later." Jacob stammered as she let herself out, turning quickly back to his room.

"Jacob!" Billy's voice commanded, stopping him mid stride and he turned hands in pockets"

"Yeah dad?" He smiled, his face like that of a child caught with hand in the sweet jar.

"What's you up too?" Billy squinted.

"Nothing" Jacob shook his head "Honestly. Leah got upset over something that happened yesterday and she fell asleep. What was I supposed to do, kick her out?"

"In future," Billy breathed deeply "On the couch."

"Got it" Jacob nodded, running to his room.

"And just because my legs don't work, don't mean my ears don't either!" Billy called after him.

~8~

Leah trudged quickly across the rain sodden grass of the reservation with her shoes in hand, leaving her morning with Jacob behind. Clouds now dominated the sun that had woken her, an omen to the rest of the day. Large droplets slapped hard against lust blushed cheeks, her rain saturated shirt clinging fiercely to the contours of her body.

She jumped slightly at a flash of lightning followed by a furious roll of thunder, giggling to herself at her childishness as she stepped into a run. Squinting against the rain she headed towards home, momentarily distracted as the door to Sam and Emily's swung open, the latter running out a large bag of garbage, quickly stopping to wave before heading back in.

"Leah!" She almost didn't hear her name over another loud crash of thunder, twisting on her toes with agility comparable to that of a dancer, her smile faltering instantly at the sight of Sam heading towards her.

"What do you want, Sam?" She pushed her rain soaked hair from her face.

"Where have you been?" Sam stopped a little way from her, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"What's it to you?" She scowled. Sam sighed glancing around as if nervous and stepping closer towards her, his hands falling at his sides.

"Something's going on." He said quietly.

"What have you got flea's in your brain? Nothing's going on!" She shook her head.

"Your clothes," Sam looked her over "You were wearing the same ones yesterday. You haven't been home."

"I …I was patrolling all night." She lied.

"There was no patrol last night, I ran the forest and there was no one else there." He cut his eyes suspiciously at her.

"Well then you missed me!" She crossed her arms angrily "Now if you don't mind, I'm going home…To change!" She hissed turning her back on him.

"Don't you lie to me!" Sam growled, catching her arm and flinging her round.

"Get your hand off me" Leah tried to wrench her wrist from his iron grip "Sam! You're hurting me!"

"You and Jacob!" He spat through his teeth.

"Me and Jacob what?" She growled, twisting her arm.

"You're…" He breathed deeply "You're sleeping together!"

"Not that it's any of your business!" Leah yelled, finally yanking free from his grasp "But you're wrong!" she stared at him, praying her face didn't betray her words.

"Lie's!" Sam leaned towards her, his voice lowered "I can smell him all over you."

"_Jacob _is my alpha, we spend time close together." She emphasised his name "You smell like Paul, but do you hear me accusing you of sleeping together?" the sarcasm dripped from her tongue.

"I SAW YOU!" He yelled, his finger's began to tremble, his breathing becoming sharp and heavy "I saw you in the forest two nights ago."

"What are you following me now?" Leah recoiled, her brow furrowed in disbelief "You gave up the right to know anything about me three years ago! I am not your Lee Lee anymore!" She spat.

"You have no idea what you are doing." He whispered, trying to control his body.

"See that's where you're wrong." She rose onto her tip toes, bringing her face to his "I know exactly what I'm doing…_We_ know exactly what we're doing. It's fun, Sam. Something you never gave me."

Sam grabbed at her, squeezing the tops of her arms, her eye's widening as he began to loose control again.

"SAM!" They both span at the horrified voice, Emily standing at the front of the house, her torn face shattered at the sight in front of her.

Her eye's darted to the side, watching helplessly as Jacob appeared behind Sam, yanking him back from Leah.

"Leave her alone!" He snarled, placing himself between them, raising up to full height and towering over him

.

Sam clenched his fists at his side, his lips squeezed so tight that they paled under the pressure, air wheezing through his flaring nostrils "Arrgghh!" He flung his fist at a tree, skimming past Jacob's head earning not even a flinch from him, but the century old trunk buckling under the force, screaming and creaking as leaned onto the next tree.

His gazed flicked nervously from Leah to Jacob, slowly towards Emily a harsh sob of rage escaping as he met her eyes; he stepped towards her, a hand out stretched.

"Sam." She whispered, so low that no human would have heard, tears streaming down her face, her own strangling sob echoing as he bolted for the tree's, not bothering to remove his jeans from his quivering body before he disappeared.

"Leah?" Jacob cupped her face in his hand "You okay?"

"I'm fine." she answered, pulling his hand away, her gaze refusing to meet his.

"Let me take you home." His fingers trying to tangle with hers, confusion filling his face when she pulled her hand behind her back.

"No." she sniffed, any tears disappearing under the battering rain "I don't need you."

"You…you don't need me?" Jacobs face contorted into a frown.

She shook her head at the floor, edging backwards "No I don't…I don't need you!"

"But… I" she cut him off.

"No… Look after Emily." She turned and ran, her chest heaving almost uncontrollably as she tried to contain her sobs.

Jacob squinted through the rain, watching until she disappeared behind a row of small buildings before turning his attention to the crumpled Emily.

He reached for her, trying to bring her to her feet only for her to pull back to the ground, her face buried in her hands her cries drowned out by a howl from deep in the trees.

Leah closed the door quietly behind her, leaning against it and inhaling heavily as laughter radiated from the next room.

Forcing a smile she walked in.

"Nothing like an April shower in the middle of August huh?" Charlie glanced up at her with a wide smile.

"Tell me about it!" She heard the strain in her laugh "Hey mom, how are you doing?" She asked the woman seated next to Charlie, her face almost exactly the same as Leah's but weathered a little by age, her once sleek black hair, now peppered with grey.

"I'm fine." Sue beamed "But look at you…You look like a drowned puppy!"

"Thanks a lot!" Leah exclaimed as her mother walked towards her, taking her lightly by the arm and guiding her towards the bathroom.

Sue released her as they entered the bathroom, tugging at the hem of her daughters wet shirt playfully before walking to the bath tub, steaming water running from the tap "Get those off before you catch your death."

"Honestly mom, I'm fine they're already drying off." She smiled, leaning cross armed against the door frame.

She walked towards her, her hand brushing over Leah's cheek "Humour me, baby girl… I'll leave some towels out for you." and she walked away closing the door behind her.

Leah stepped slowly towards the bathroom mirror, wiping the steam away with her hand before turning her attention to the buttons of her shirt, a familiar sting beginning to return between her eyes as she willed the tears to stay back.

A sharp tap at the window made her jump, pulling her shirt tightly closed and peering through the steam clouded windows to find Jacob standing there.

"What do you want, Jake?" She asked pushing the window open.

"Can I come in?" he whispered, and Leah stepped away as he squeezed noiselessly through the tiny window.

"Don't make me ask again Jake?" She huffed turning the taps off.

"What did you mean?" Jacob shifted nervously.

"About what?" She began to pull off her top "Do you mind?" She gestured for him to turn, his cheeks flushed as he tore his eyes away from her.

"You said, you don't need me." He listened to the soft sloshing of the water as she sat down in the bath.

There was a long silence, only a drip from the tap heard. Jacob turned back towards her and she sat, head on her knees in the water.

"What did you mean?" he asked again.

"This was a mistake." her eye's never left the water "I should have never asked what I did of you."

"You said it yourself … its just sex." Jacob shrugged.

"I need more Jake," She turned towards him "Are you willing to give me that?"

He turned his gaze to the floor "I…"

"That's what I thought." She smiled meekly "I should never have asked you, it was wrong of me especially because of Renesmee. It would serve us both better if we just forgot anything ever happened."

"I wish I could…" He stepped towards her "I wish I could be what you needed."

"But we both know that you can't." The tears began to escape "Goodbye Jake."

Jacob hauled himself through the window "Leah?" his hand held the window open a crack.

"Hum?" She breathed.

"Do you think…that it's possible to love two people at the same time?" He watched her; she gave no answer as she closed her eyes and slipped beneath the water.

~8~

Jacob took off into the trees, under their dense canopy the rain turned from torrential to a trickle.

He removed his pants, his body quivering and the skin melting away into fur, the occasional drop of rain settling like crystals on the pelt.

"_Jacob_!" He heard Seth growling in the distance.

"_Not now Seth_." He growled back, pushing deeper into the forest.

"_Yes now_!" Seth appeared at his side, his sandy fur matted by the rain, bumping his shoulder into Jacob to knock him out of his stride.

Jacob dug his paws into the dirt and spun to face him, his teeth bared in frustration "_What the hell is wrong with you?" _

"_What the hell do you think your doing_?" Seth screamed in his head, lowering his body looking to pounce.

"_What are you talking about?" _Jacob ignored the threat in his stance and sat.

"_I've been running the forest all afternoon; I was on my way home when I saw you climbing through the bathroom window. I heard…everything_!" the smaller wolf shook his head in disbelief.

"_Seth I…" _Jacob rose slowly, staying low.

"_She's my sister. You have an imprint…what were you thinking getting involved with her like that_?" Seth asked

"_I know it's not an excuse_," Jacob hung his head "_but it was her idea_." his thoughts flew back a few days to them together in Sam and Emily's kitchen.

"_Don't think of her like that…I don't need to see it_!" Seth emitted a low growl.

"_We were both just so…lonely; I guess_." Jacob admitted softly.

"_She's been hurt so much, how could you do that?" _His voice was lowered.

"_I'd never…I never meant to_." The rust coloured wolf hung his head.

_"What did you mean?" _Seth sat back on his hind legs "_When you asked if it was possible to love two people? Was that some kind of…bizarre admission?"_

"_I can't help the way I feel!_" Jacobs voice grew angrier.

_"Don't you have any control? Why isn't anything ever enough for you?" _Seth's hackles rose, "_You had Bella, she was your best friend you knew she loved Edward but that still wasn't enough you had to push it…Now you have Nessie. She may only be the equivalent of a five year old but one day she will be perfect for you, everything you will ever need and yet it's still not enough, you have to hurt Leah"_

"_I'm not trying to hurt her!" _Jacob insisted

"_You are no better than Sam!" _Seth growled louder "_He had Emily and he still strung her along, used the way she felt about him for his own gain. When you broke away from the pack and became Alpha, she got that freedom from him… I didn't have to see or hear how bad she felt anymore, she was happy, and you've just gone and taken advantage of her, just like he did"_

"_It was her suggestion! She propositioned me!" _Jacob's hair stood on end

Seth pounced at Jacob, only for the larger wolf to turn and pin him to the ground, his teeth at his throat applying minimal pressure.

"_Let me up_!" Seth growled gutturally.

_"Only if you promise to stay calm_?" Jacob answered calmly

_"Make me!" _Seth twisted under his teeth.

"_You know I won't do that, and I don't want to hurt you." _he tightened his jaw a little.

"_Fine_" he hissed, rolling onto his paws and standing back up as Jacob relented his hold and Seth shook back into his human form "_From now on you are only my Alpha…not my brother and not my friend. You better not hurt her or I will kill you._"

Jacob watched as he left, disappearing into the trees. He shifted quickly, pulling his pant's back on and starting towards the Cullen house and, as it approached over the horizon, hoping that Edward wasn't there to listen to his thoughts.

He pushed the door open slowly a small squeal rising from across the room as a little girl hurtled herself towards him, arms outstretched.

"My Jacob!" She yelped as he lifted her into his arms.

"My Nessie!" He whispered back nuzzling her soft curls "What have you been doing today?"

She leaned back and smiled, bringing her hand palm flat, softly against his cheek and Jacob closed his eye's letting the images of her hunting with Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie fixing her hair stream through his mind.

"Looks like fun." He smiled at her.

"Where have you been?" She asked pulling softly at the end of his hair.

"I've been in the forest with Seth." His smile dropped.

"Did you not have fun?" Renesmee frowned slightly.

"Not really" Jacob shook his head "But I'm much better now." he pushed the smile back on his face.

"Hey sweetie?" Bella came in from the kitchen and leaned weightlessly against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest "Do you mind if I talk to Jacob for a while?"

"But he's my Jacob!" Renesmee pouted.

"Don't worry," Jacob kissed her forehead and put her feet on the floor "I'll come straight back to you… we'll do anything you want."

She rose onto her tip toes, holding her hand up and Jacob crouched so that she could reach his face, smiling as she showed him a memory of her sitting on the back of a rust coloured wolf as they raced through the trees.

"Sure we can do that!" He smiled, stroking her hair "I'll be back soon." and with that he followed Bella through the house and into Carlisle's office.

"What's going on?" He asked sinking into the plush leather chair in front of his desk.

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." Bella leaned against the desk.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Jacob shrugged and started to get up, but her deceptively small hand held him firmly in place.

"Oh yes you do!" She nodded "Edward told me about your little…chat."

"It wasn't his place to tell!" Jacob growled.

"I can't let you hurt Nessie." Bella said softly.

"I would never hurt her!" Jacob looked at her in disgust.

"Not intentionally," Bella exclaimed "But if it goes to far, if something… unexpected happens. And we both know I'm all about the unexpected. Then you will hurt her."

"She doesn't know why she feels the way she does, she doesn't understand it yet…and I can't help the way I feel about Leah." Jacob said exasperated.

"Maybe not yet she doesn't but give her a few months and she'll be able to understand and a few years and she'll be old enough to get hurt…Wait what do you mean the way you feel about Leah?" Bella frowned.

"You know!" Jacob hissed

"No, Edward told me it was just sex. That you were both just looking to ease…frustration!" She pushed herself up straight and stood over him "I was worrying that you weren't being careful… I didn't want Renesmee to have to contend with a litter. It actually never occurred to me that it would be love instead of babies!"

"I don't know that its love." Jacob shook his head "It's just…it's something."

"You can't do this Jake, you need to put a stop to it." She knelt in front of him "Don't you remember how it made you feel when I…when I had to choose? Do you really want either of them to feel that way? Especially since Leah has been through all this before!"

"I know!" Jacob roared "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think that I wish it was different, I hate feeling this way and I hate that I am already hurting Leah… She needs more and I want to give it to her, but I can't!"

Jacob rubbed his hands over his face "I love Ness so much, I do and I know what the future holds for us, but right now…right now I need that closeness, that familiarity and you know I would never think of Renesmee that way, but it doesn't stop the need for it."

"I know Jacob, but this isn't healthy…for any of you." She sighed "You need to understand that I can't let you hurt my daughter."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jacob glared at her

"I didn't realise the magnitude of the situation… I just wanted to lecture you about safe sex and subtlety when it came to being around Nessie so that she didn't find out," She paused "but this is… I think it'll be better for all of you if we go away for a while."

"What?" Jacob jumped to his feet "you can't, you can't take her away… it'll hurt us both!"

Bella shook her head "Right now she's young enough to get over it and it won't be for long…a few years maybe. It should give you enough time to figure out what you need, what you want."

"Where will you take her?" Jacob's voice fell, his face looked broken.

Bella fingered his cheek "I haven't quite figured it out yet… maybe south America. I'm sorry Jacob, I love you but I can't let you hurt her."

"Please don't?" Jacob begged as Bella turned and left the room.

~8~

**September 2009**

"What are you doing to yourself?" A distant voice asked, as Jacob fought to keep his closed against the harsh sunlight, bringing his hand up to cover them, his arm knocking something in the process causing it to topple and tinkle against something else.

"Jeez!" The voice snorted, clearer this time followed by a dull thud "Yo Jake!" It yelled shaking him, forcing him to groan and open his eyes, focusing in on Seth standing there, an empty liquor bottle in his hand.

"Managed to get through quite a bit huh?" Seth kicked the rest of the bottles on the floor.

"Took four bottles to even get me tipsy." Jacob pushed himself up to sit on the side of his bed, his hair greasy and matted to the side of his face "I can't even get a damn hangover."

"Well you'll have to forgive my lack of sympathy." Seth chucked the bottle onto the bed, it bounced and rolled landing in a pile of comforter.

"What do you want?" Jacob scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to remove the sleepy haze.

"Thought I'd better check on you." He shrugged "It's been a week since anyone heard from you."

"Not like you can't handle it for a while…Being Alpha I mean." Jacob walked over to his dresser, dropping his pants to the floor and replacing them with a fresh pair of boxers.

"I'm not alpha Jake, you are." He shoved his hands in the pockets of his denim shorts "You need to take over the responsibility again."

"What do you care?" Jacob scoffed "You said it yourself, not brothers, not friends."

"I'm here as your second in command, nothing more." Seth shook his head "Look, I know you've got some stuff going on but you can't shirk this, it's not something you can run away from."

"Oh don't bother!" He hissed "You have no idea what's going on with me!"

"I know that you're trying to drink yourself into oblivion every night, instead of fulfilling your duty!" Seth started to yell kicking the bottles at his feet "I know that my sister has spent every night crying…over you of all people. She actually thinks it's her fault that Bella and Edward took Renesmee away"

"Well it is!" Jacob retorted.

"Like hell it is!" Seth got up in Jacob's face "You only have yourself to blame, you should've known better than to get involved with someone else when you already have…everything!"

"Well now I don't, does that make it any better?" Jacob growled.

"Surprisingly, no" Seth had lowered his voice "How could you do this to her?"

"I didn't do anything that she didn't want" Jacob sat back on the bed "She put a stop to it, not me"

"The point is it should never have started" Seth dropped next to him "I hate seeing her like this…you need to do something. What do they call it? Closure?"

"Closure? What are we, in a re-run of Friends?" Jacob shook his head "In case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the world's best people, person right now…she'd probably end up leaving too."

"Well then don't let her leave, cause' if she does it means you've made it worse and I'm not sure how happy I'd be with you after that!" Seth shrugged.

"You have to get over this notion that you could ever take me in a fight." Jacob stood up "Fine I'll go see her." he headed towards his door.

"Ah you may wanna shower first." Seth wrinkled his nose "And maybe throw on some pants too."

"It's not your fault." Leah jumped at the voice behind her, the plate that she was rinsing slipping out of her hand and back into the bubbles. She turned, bracing her hands behind her on the edge of the sink.

"What are you doing here Jacob?" She self consciously pushed her hair from her face, getting soap bubbles on the front.

"Seth said that you blamed yourself for…for Renesmee being taken away." Jacob dropped his head and leaned against the door frame "It's not your fault, it's mine. I knew there would be consequences… I didn't occur to me quite how big they'd be though."

"It's just as much mine." Leah wiped her hands down the front of her dress "I shouldn't have asked you to do what I did, and I'm sorry for that."

Jacob walked over to her; he smiled lightly wiping the bubbles from her hair "Seth's really worried about you."

"I know he is," She smiled back at him "but I'm a big girl, I'll get over it… just like I always do."

"But… what if I can't get over it?" His smile was gone, and his eye's serious as the bored into hers, his fingers weaving into her hair.

"Jake, we can't" She shook her head, letting it drop onto his chest "Don't do this to me, It's not fair."

"I know this should stop" Leah sighed against his chest sending a shiver through his body "But I don't want too."

"What about what I want?" She pushed away from him slightly, her hands resting on his hips.

"Then tell me, please" He cupped her face in his hands.

"I already have, I need more than a…a fuck buddy." her eyebrows knitted together "You can't love me Jake"

"I can! I do!" Jacob's voice was pleading

"What?" Leah scoffed baking away from him "That's not fair Jake!"

"I love you!" He grabbed at her hand "I didn't think it was possible to love two people, but I do… and I can't promise that it'll always be the same, but it's how I feel right now…isn't that the most important thing?"

"What happens when the Cullen's come back? You're just going to leave me and all this will start again" she pulled her hand from his and turned back to the sink, her hands diving under the water.

"Who's to say you won't leave me? You're just as capable of imprinting as the rest of us" Jacob asked.

"With the way my luck has been running lately, I highly doubt that!" She fished a knife from the sink and placed it on the draining board "I think it would just be better for all of us if this just stayed finished."

"I don't think I can do that" Jacob snaked his hands around her waist, crushing his body against hers his hands fisting the white cotton of her dress.

"Please Jake! Don't…" Leah's voice pleaded

"What?" he whispered, nibbling her ear, dipping to kiss her neck and nudging the strap of her dress off her shoulder? His hands raked up her thighs, stopping dangerously close to where she needed him most.

"We need to stop." Her eye's fell closed, and her head lolled back against his chest letting him slip the other strap off, her dress slipping down and exposing her breasts.

"You sure?" Jacob whispered, his fingers twisted and pulled at her nipples. She sighed harshly, spinning in his arms and smashing her lips into his hungrily.

"Still want me to stop?" He asked lifting her onto the edge of the sink, pulling her knees apart, positioning himself between them. He pushed her dress up to her waist exposing the rest of her and smiled "No underwear for me to destroy today huh?"

"Just shut up Jake!" She hissed biting down hard on his lip, her feet locking around his ass and pulling him closer, his arousal pushing against her through his jeans.

Leah moaned into his mouth as his fingers found her centre, his thumb swirling at the sensitive bud of nerves making her arch into his touch.

"God, Leah!" Jacob growled as he let his fingers pulse in and out "You have no idea what you do to me!"

Leah smiled reaching between them, grabbing at the button of his pants, yanking them down her hand gripping his length "I think I do" She whispered her breath becoming more and more ragged as Jacob flicked at the nub between her legs, her body shivering violently as a wave of pleasure crashed over her.

"Shit Jake!" she collapsed against his chest.

"We aren't done yet!" he growled again, gripping her hips and sliding them forward to meet his, sliding himself into her in one movement, biting down on the flesh of her breast and swirling over the mark with his tongue as he moved, his rhythm becoming more and more erratic.

Leah threw her arms back as Jacob slammed against her body, her hand smashing into the plates that sat on the side "Oh my god!" She screamed as her second orgasm hit her like train, feeling Jacob shake against her.

"Glad I didn't stop?" He kissed his way up her chest, over her jaw until he found her mouth.

~8~

**July 2010**

"Don't you think this has been going on long enough?" Emily asked grabbing a couple of bags of apples from the shelf and throwing them into the cart behind her.

"Excuse me?" Leah frowned "Are you talking about the groceries?"

"Don't play dumb Lee." she replied continuing up the aisle.

"No, seriously what the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Jacob!" A couple at the end of the aisle glanced at Emily's raised voice. "You've had your fun, why don't you just call it a day?"

"I can't see how it's any of your business!" Leah snapped.

"It's just seems wrong… have either of you thought about the consequences this could bring?" Emily turned and placed her hand on the front of the cart, stopping Leah from pushing it along.

"Of course we have!" she put her hands on her hip and sighed "But it's different."

"How is it different? You're using each other…filling a void and you shouldn't be doing it like this." Emily's voice was almost pleading.

"And what exactly do you think caused that void? Because my life was perfectly fine until you showed up!" Leah shouted.

"Don't turn this on me!" Emily spat back "You know that couldn't be controlled."

"You got everything." She lowered her voice. "I loved Sam so much, he was everything to me, it was all planned out… the house, the kids…our lives.' She swallowed fighting back the tears swelling in her eye's "And all it took was one look at you, and my entire world collapsed around me."

"I don't know what I can say except for sorry." Emily whispered "But this is not the way to make things right!"

"Why can't you just leave me alone, Emily? You have Sam, you have this," She said lovingly grazing her fingers over the prominent, firm bump in Emily's stomach "concentrate on your life and leave mine alone."

"What about Renesmee, have you thought about what will happen to her?" Emily asked

"Nothing will happen to her…She's been gone for almost a year, she probably doesn't even remember Jacob." She pushed the cart forward, turning into the next aisle.

"But you don't know that, you have no idea what being taken away has done to her…do you even know what it's done to Jacob? To have the one person that he is divinely linked to gone?

"He didn't have to choose me!" A tear slipped down Leah's cheek "I tried to end it, but he came back and I needed someone so much. And I've tried and tried to stay away from him but something always seems to knock me straight back into his arms."

"Would he have chosen you if the Cullen's hadn't moved away? Do you really think that…whatever it is he feels for you would have been stronger than what he feels for Renesmee?" Emily was raising her voice again, Leah simply shrugged.

"And what happens when they come back? Where is that going to leave you?" She asked.

"They're not coming back." Leah whispered.

"What?" Emily frowned.

"I said they're not coming back" she repeated.

"Since when? I thought it was only supposed to be a few years."

"Bella wrote to Jake…they're staying where they are." Leah walked off down the aisle. "I found out just before I came here."

_Earlier that day…._

Jacob walked round the front of the house, wiping his grease covered hands down his pants, smiling as the mailman approached handing him a small bundle of envelopes "Thanks man".

He pushed through the front door, flinging them on the table and grabbing juice from the fridge, gulping it straight from the bottle.

His eyebrows knitted as he glanced over the scattered envelopes, all of them crisp white and type printed, except one that sat dangerously close to the edge, off white and handwritten.

Recognising the scrawl, Jacob snatched it up and tore is open.

_Jacob,_

_It's been a while and I hope that you've had time to work things out. Ness is getting bigger and bigger, seem like every time I look at her she's an inch taller or her hair is different. She's in new clothes everyday._

_She misses you._

_I know before we left that I said it wouldn't be for long, but things have changed. We've decided to stay where we are._

_It was almost time for us to move on any way and we think it's best for everyone._

_I know this will be hard for you but, according to Charlie, you still have Leah, and I hope that makes it easier._

_All my love, Bella._

Jacob shook, the paper crumpling in his fist as Leah walked through the front door.

"You!" He yelled waving the letter at her "This is all your fault!"

"What?" Leah recoiled against the wall "What are you talking about?"

"Nessie, they're not bringing her back and it's all your fault" He spat.

"Don't you dare blame all this on me!" Her face was red with rage, her body convulsed. "You came to me, you didn't go after them, you didn't stop them from leaving, you came to me…you made the choice, and don't you dare blame me!"

Jacob sank to his knees, the heel of his hands pressed into his watering eyes "What have I done?" he whispered "I've lost her."

Leah's eyes streamed, her stomach lurched as she held back a sob "You…you haven't lost her Jake." she put her hand on his shaking shoulder "She'll always be yours."

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed, hugging her thighs, his head resting on her stomach.

"It's okay baby." She smoothed his hair, her tears dropping like rain. "It had to happen someday, right?"

"I do love you, but…" Jacob kissed a small patch of skin between her jeans and top

"But you love Nessie more." She crouched down in front of him, holding his face between her hands "I always knew that."

"What am I gonna do?" he asked

"Wait,? go look for them? It's your choice to make…I won't stand in the way." Leah tried to smile.

"I hate doing this to you." Jacob shook his head and pleaded, "I'm so, so sorry, you have to believe me?"

"I believe you Jake, I do." She kissed his lips softly "Doesn't make it any easier though!" she chuckled pathetically.

"I think…I think I'm gonna go away for a while." He looked at the floor.

A new wave of sadness hit Leah as she nodded "If that's what you think you need to do." she breathed out

"I don't know what I need." He shrugged.

"Well." Leah sniffed and wiped her tear stained cheeks, grabbing Jacob's hand and pulling him up to stand with her "I'm gonna go to the market with Emily. I'll understand if you're gone when I get back."

"Love you, Lee." He said softly as she opened the door.

She smiled back at him, pushing down the bile that rose from her stomach "Goodbye Jacob."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Not my best.**

* * *

Third Birthday

Fourth Birthday

Fifth Birthday

"Her growing has slowed now; do you think maybe we could enroll her with us this time?" Bella asked her husband, as she pulled the large sixty-two inch TV from its removal box in one effortless movement, turning to take it to its pre-decided place in the family room of their new house.

"I don't know, maybe?" Edward shrugged and turned towards her, his eyes widening. "Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

He grabbed the television from her and placed it against the wall, her mouth open to protest. "The removal people are still here, it would be hard to believe even Emmet could lift that human, let alone you!"

"Relax, baby they're not even inside the house at the moment." She made a move to pick it back up.

"That's not the point and you know it, and after the last time when that guy caught you lifting the couch one handed…" He shook his head "I just about managed to convince him that I was there the whole time helping you, but that was just obvious!"

"Fine, I'm sorry!" She pouted

"Here put this away." He said handing her a box marked 'Kitchen'.

Bella crossed her arms across her chest. "You know, you're right, I should do something that suits my frame…don't need anyone getting suspicious."

"Exactly." He smiled gesturing for her to take the box.

"In that case, when you've put that in the kitchen, come back and I'll tell you where I want this couch." She perched herself on said furniture, crossing her legs.

Edward was about to say something when Renesmee entered the room, followed closely by a rather burley looking removal man carrying one of her boxes.

"Hey da…Edward" She smiled, but Edward didn't respond, his eye's fixed firmly on the man behind her.

_"Edward?" _Bella questioned silently.

He quickly glanced between his wife and daughter "Bad thoughts." He whispered so only they could hear.

"I'll take that;" Edward grabbed the box "you can go back outside"

"Oh but I was just gonna…" Edward cut the man off.

"I know exactly what you wanted to do, don't think I didn't see the way you were looking at her." Edward hissed "I would appreciate it if you would stay away from her."

"Whoa, dude!" The man held up his hands "You're sister asked me to help her in her room, I was just obliging."

"My sister is sixteen and I'm guessing that what you were thinking of doing wasn't what she asked you to help with." Edward growled at him, and the man recoiled at his voice.

"I…Uh." The removal man stammered before running from the house.

"And you?" He turned to his daughter. "Don't you give me that!"

"What?" Bella frowned.

"You knew exactly what he was thinking, why would you do that?" Edward didn't take his eyes off Renesmee; Bella's eyebrows knitted together, her question seemingly answered.

"Because it was fun." Renesmee shrugged.

"His thoughts were disgusting!" Edward spat.

"Well why don't you just take me away again then?" She screamed. "Solved the last problem for you didn't it?"

"That's not fair; you know we had our reasons." Bella interjected.

"Really? And what were they, because you've failed to inform me on that little detail?" She scowled at her mother.

"We can't tell you, you know that?" Bella voice pleaded.

"Oh, so you can drag me away from my home, my best friend." A tear rolled down her cheek "My Jacob…but you can't tell me why? That's bullshit!"

"You really want to know?" Edward growled.

"Edward, don't!" Bella grabbed his arm.

"Yes!" Renesmee exclaimed.

"He had to choose, to make a decision…about what is not my place to tell you, but he wouldn't or couldn't make it." Edward explained.

"So we made it for him." Bella continued softly. "We never meant to hurt you, but we thought that it would be less painful than staying for you to witness anything."

"Well you were wrong!" Renesmee sobbed, and Bella made to grab her. "Stay away from me!"

Bella recoiled at the venom in her voice. "Everyday I think about him, and it gets worse and worse because everyday I wake up and he's not there."

She slumped onto the couch "Why hasn't he come after me?"

"He…we don't know where he is." Bella whispered "He's gone, he left."

"What do you mean?" Renesmee frowned, her pale cheeks covered in tears.

"A few years ago, we were supposed to go back to Forks but we'd settled and it seemed silly to move when it wasn't necessary," Bella began "so I sent him a letter and no one has seen him since… no phone calls, no letters even Seth can't find him…he's either not phasing anymore or he's just to far away."

"We let Billy know where we moved too, hoping that he would get in touch." Edward shrugged "but he hasn't."

"I'm so sorry Ness" Bella's voice pleaded. "We had no idea it would be this hard on either of you, we were just trying to protect you!"

Renesmee stood, her hands rubbing nervously against her denim clad thighs. "I need to leave." She said not looking at either of them.

"Ness…" Edward started.

"No… you can't stop me." She held up a hand. "I need to get away, to clear my head."

"Where will you go?" Bella looked horrified, glancing at Edward, trying to read his face.

"I'm not sure." Her eyes were vacant.

"You'll be needing these." A voice came from behind them, and they turned to find Alice holding out a back pack and a wad of money.

"Alice?" Edward hissed.

Alice shook her head "You won't change her mind Edward, she needs to do this she'll be fine."

"Thank you." Renesmee whispered between sobs.

"Don't worry it's nothing to extravagant just some jeans and shirts, and all you're papers are at the bottom…passport, drivers license, you get the idea. This should get you somewhere more than decent to sleep." She said pushing the money into a pocket at the back of the bag and held out some keys "You can take my car."

"Nessie?" Edward called has his daughter turned to leave.

"I'll come back when if thought some things through." She said without turning, before walking from the house.

They listened quietly; the sound of Alice's Porsche humming through the house as it pulled out of the garage and left the driveway.

Bella dry sobbed "Where is she going?" She looked at Alice hopefully.

"I don't know, she hasn't made up her mind yet…But you'll know as soon as I do." She glanced at Edward; he hissed and walked out of the room.

"Oh my god" Renesmee sobbed "What the hell am I doing?"

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, focusing back on the road ahead, her finger pressing the button to the stereo, singing along in a broken voice, desperate to forget what had happened.

Renesmee slapped her hands on the wheel pulling over onto the side of the road "This is stupid!" She yelled at herself "I don't even know where I'm going."

Her phone rang. She dug through the backpack on the seat next to her finally retrieving it.

"Alice?" She frowned as she answered.

"Just keep driving, you'll know where you want to be when you get there" Alice said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"It's all about the imprint. Just start moving again…go with your heart and not your head and you'll get there eventually." Alice was even quieter "I have to go, I need to get back on land before Edward realizes I'm gone."

With that the phone line was dead. Renesmee sat staring at it in her hand, her eyebrows pinched together "What the hell?"

She was jolted by a knock on her window "You okay miss?" A young policeman stood outside her window, his eyes widened slightly as she turned to face him, rolling down the window.

"I'm fine officer, is there something wrong?" She forced a smile.

"No…well, it's just that you're not supposed to stop here. Can I see your License and registration please?" he smiled back and blushed slightly.

"Oh I'm sorry, I got an urgent phone call and thought it best to pull over" She lied handing him the documents "I'll move right away"

"I'm sorry Miss…Cullen, but I'm gonna have to issue you with a ticket, I…"

"Oh." Her smile dropped and she decided that she wasn't above using her tears to get out of the situation, letting them role freely down her face. "I understand"

"Miss?" The policeman looked at her curiously. "I guess I can let you off…just this once."

"Really?" She forced her smile back on her face and took back her license "Oh thank so much officer, I promise I won't do it again"

He nodded his head at her "Cheer up Miss Cullen, no point in wasting that face on tears."

Renesmee closed the window and drove off, still no idea where she was headed.

"You'll end up there eventually!" She mimicked Alice "Stupid pixie."

"Oh…Edward!" Alice ran up the stairs, almost slamming in to him as she rounded the corner to his room.

"How long ago?" He asked his face creased with worry, his eyes searching her frantically.

She squeezed them shut, drifting back through the vision that was still fresh in her mind. Edward grabbed the top her arms and shook her "Alice! How long ago?"

"_I don't know!_" Her mind screamed back "It might not have happened yet."

"But it could have?" Edward asked and she nodded.

"What's going on? Is it Renesmee?" Bella appeared at Edward's side, prizing his fingers from Alice arms and turning him to her.

"She had a vision," he mumbled "the car broke down on the side of the road, and then she… she disappeared."

* * *

_Renesmee tapped agitatedly as she pulled up to the stop sign, she had been driving for almost three days, Alice's words playing over and over in her head._

"You'll get there eventually."

_She sighed, putting her foot back down on the accelerator, the glistening lake that was on her left zipping by. Her attention was caught by her cell phone ringing on the seat next to her, Alice's face flashing up on screen, but she ignored it and turned her attention back to the road as it darkened under a sudden canopy of dense trees._

_The car began to cough._

_"What?" Renesmee gripped the wheel tighter, and it creaked loudly under the pressure of her preternatural strength "What's going on?"_

_It shuddered and began to slow of its own accord, as she urged it to the side off the road finally alerted to a light flashing on the dashboard._

_"Out of gas? You gotta be kidding me?" She reached over to grab her phone, the signal indicator flashing and the word 'searching' emblazoned across the screen rather than her usual network "Damn it!" She growled hitting the steering wheel, before flinging the door open and stepping out, the sole of her ballet pumps crunching over the gravel that had collected at the edge of the road as she walked to the front of the car and removed an empty gas can from the trunk._

_She trudged along, the can swinging at her side lazily, occasionally glancing around at the desolate road pausing at a sign._

_"Great River Bluffs State Park 2 Miles_

_La Crosse 13 Miles"_

_"That's not far." Renesmee mumbled to her self taking one final look around as she slipped into the refuge of trees, enveloping herself in their darkness._

_She breathed deeply, and began sprinting through the trees at vampire speed a wide grin spreading across her face at the feeling of freedom. _

_Her feet barely disturbed the ground, leaves and branches swayed calmly as she sped past them. She could hear the thuds of tiny hearts hidden in the safety of the canopy and the distant sound of trickling water and the rhythmic thump of a much larger heart._

_Renesmee changed direction, a soft chuckle escaping her lips at her sudden hunger, the temptation of a beating heart to good to pass and she breathed deeply "Here moosey, moosey!"._

_She slowed to a stop, coming to rest behind a large bolder a few tens of feet from the stream, and in clear view of her prey as it stood lapping peacefully at the water, unaware of the danger that was so close behind it._

_Renesmee charged silently as it bowed back into the water, grabbing at his large antlers and twisting ferociously until she heard a snap and the animal sagged lifelessly to the floor. Her teeth bared, she sank them into its neck, its warm blood satiating her thirst as she drank greedily. _

_A low growl erupted from the distance, pulling her from the blood induced trance and she dropped the carcass to the ground, a small trickle of blood running along the wet stones and mingling with the running stream._

_She crouched low, her tongue flicking out over her lips to remove the remainder of her meal, her eyes darting nervously into the shadows, smelling at the air._

_Her eyebrows pinched at the unfamiliar smell that carried in the air, it was musky and familiar and far from unpleasant but un-nerving still. She spotted movement in the other side of the water, buried deep in the brush and let out her own growl in warning._

_Renesmee jumped slightly as she backed into the boulder that she'd hidden behind only minutes ago, momentarily distracted by its hard, cold surface and internally scolding herself for being so jumpy._

_Another growl caught her attention, only this time it was closer, mush closer and she turned, teeth bared into the face of a large wolf, it's black eyes almost hidden by its dirty, mud matted fur. _

_Her fingers brushed over the stone behind her, her eyes never leaving the large animal as she leapt straight up and landed atop the boulder, her heart pounding uncontrollably against the wall of her chest as it began circling her menacingly, a continuous growl rolling from between it's clenched teeth._

_"My my, Mister Wolf! What big teeth you have!" She snarled. "You wouldn't use them to hurt a poor defenseless little girl like me would you?"_

_The wolf paused, and a gruff sound similar to a chuckle rumbled from its throat. Renesmee grinned and cocked her head "Not quite the oversized dog you appear to be are you?" She asked and the wolf crouched in response and growled._

_She dropped back down to the ground, her courage somewhat renewed as she edged towards the wolf "What are you doing all the way out here, shifter?"_

_It was the wolfs turn to cock his head, and if its eyes hadn't been hidden under it's over grown pelt, she would have seen them narrow in observation at her question._

_"I'm not your ordinary vampire," she said softly, standing straight and relaxing her shoulders "I'm not here to hurt anyone; I don't desire human blood as you can see." She indicated to the fallen Elk. "I not looking for a fight.."_

_The tension in the air was thick, as Renesmee stared face to face with the wolf._

_It shook his matted head from side to side pausing before gritting its teeth and growling, leaning back on its hind legs, ready to pounce._

_Renesmee, leaped forward meeting the wolf mid jump and knocking them both to the ground, landing across it's body, her hands grasped at its neck._

_She looked down at the animal, the rough fur twisted in her fingers and she could feel the rapid beating of its heart under her hands and hear it pounding in her ears, melding with her own. _

_The wolf laid still under her, its eyes locked firmly on her face, a low whine escaping its mouth._

_Renesmee's grip tightened. Chancing a glance at her hands, she found that where the dark fur parted between her fingers a russet red shone through and her heart skipped just a little. She released her hold and pushed her fingers through the fur revealing more of the red hidden underneath._

_"Jake?" She whispered, so low it was barely audible. The wolf lifted its head and nuzzled her free hand as she slipped from its body and to her knees. The damp earth of the streams bank soaking into her jeans "My Jacob?"_

_

* * *

_"Seth has been looking for you," Renesmee said quietly, sat with her back against the large boulder, twisting the little satin bow on her mud stained shoes between her fingers "but, mom said that you weren't phasing or that maybe you just ran too far away from him to hear you…I guess two thousand miles is far enough." She shrugged and the wolf that sat in front of her sank down to its belly.

"I was so angry, for so long and I still am." Jacobs's paws rested against the cross of her legs, his head cocked to one side "You said that you'd always be with me, that you'd follow me wherever I went, but you didn't."

"Mom said that you would come soon," he growled "but everyday for three years I woke up and you still weren't there and I couldn't understand why." The tears rolled freely down Renesmee's cheeks, and she wiped them away with her sleeve, sniffing loudly. "I couldn't understand why no one would tell me where you were."

Jacob shifted his head and nuzzled her hands, resting his head on her lap and her fingers fell into the fur on the top of his snout twisting and stroking softly, and his eye's fell shut, a contented sigh rushing out through his large black nose.

"But it was your fault you weren't there." She pulled her hand back and Jacob's head shot up "Dad said you had too choose between some things but you didn't, instead you disappeared."

The wolf stood and padded back towards the stream, stopping when the running water covered his huge paws and sitting, with his head bowed.

Renesmee, stood and walked after him, pausing next to him she tugged at his fur and walked deeper until the water was lapping at her mid thigh, gesturing for him to follow.

"I don't think I want to know what that choice was at the moment." She scooped the water up in her hands and dropped it over his back.

The water around them turned murky as she continued to pour the water over him and wash out as much of the dirt and mud a she could without the aid of soap and eventually he began to look more like the old Jacob wolf, just shaggier.

"You've been like this for a while huh?" Renesmee asked as she stepped back onto the bank, and Jacob grunted and nodded his head before shaking violently to rid his pelt of any excess water.

"A year?" Jacob cocked his head at her question "Longer? Have you been like this since you left?"

The wolf sank to her feet and let out a long drawn out sigh "You've not changed back at all?" she asked, searching his eyes for an answer "Can you even change back anymore?" she was met with a low whine and felt the tears forming in her eye's.

Jacob rose to his feet and nudged her hand softly before bending to pick up the gas can that she had dropped earlier, grasping it between his teeth and then bowing down in front of her and flicking his head indicating for her to get on.

Renesmee pulled her lip between her teeth, a habit she'd picked up from her mother and hesitated momentarily, then flinging her leg over the expanse of his body she latched her hands into his fur as he began to sprint towards town.

Her legs tightened round his torso and she leaned into his fur, sobbing quietly as he ran. Her hands found there way around his neck and rested at the top of his chest and she could feel his heart thumping under her touch.

A few minutes later Jacob stopped at the edge of the woods, and Renesmee could make out the distant sound of engines.

"Will you go back to the car and wait for me?" She asked over her shoulder and the wolf let out a low short howl and turned back the way they came.

Renesmee walked through the town, gas can in hand. There were a few mutters and glances in her direction and looking in a shop window she saw that she was far from the neat and tidy but instead covered in mud, wet up to her thighs from standing in the water and her hair was no longer tamed into individual curls but teased into a bushy mane. She sighed and carried on walking finally coming across a gas station.

"Can I help you, honey?" A tall thin man asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his overalls.

"Um, my car broke down about thirteen miles down the road…ran out of gas." She held up the can "Could you fill this for me, please?"

"Sure thing sweetie." He took the can and began filling it up and when he was finished Renesmee handed him the money, thanked him and turned back towards the woods.

"Hey wait up?" The man called after her "What's your name?"

"Ness…ah Vanessa" She stammered.

"Well Vanessa, it's an awful long walk back to your car and it will be getting dark soon. The roads no place for anyone to be walking alone at night especially a young girl like you." He took the can from her hand and threw into the bed of a tow truck before pointing across the street "Over there is a small motel, why don't you go on over and put yourself up for the night and I'll send someone to tow the car back?"

Renesmee nodded "Thanks." She fished the car keys from her pocket and handed them over, then turned and crossed the street and towards the building she'd been pointed too.

She pushed open the door to the reception, greeted by a wide white smile that quickly faltered when the lady sitting at the desk took in her appearance.

"Oh my, you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards and then rolled down a hill!" She exclaimed.

"Not quite," She chuckled "but it sure does feel like it. Do you happen to have any rooms free?"

"Sure do… My name's Georgina," she held her hand across the counter for Renesmee to shake "Is it just for one night?"

"I'm not sure at the moment…can I stay for longer if I need too?" Renesmee asked.

"Of course you can, we're never filled…not since two years ago when all the hype about the Dire Wolf finally died down." Georgina shook her head and chuckled to her self, taking the drivers license that Renesmee held out to her.

"The Dire Wolf?" She enquired as the lady tapped away on her computer.

"Yeah, about three years ago people started reporting seeing this huge animal running he outskirts of the park, some people thought it was big foot, although why he'd choose a place like La Crosse is beyond me. Anyway a couple of more sightings found that it was a wolf, a monster of a thing too and rust colored, and all of a sudden the town was flooded with hunters and enthusiasts and zoologists."

"What happened?" Renesmee's voice was low, and her breath shaky at the thought of Jacob being hunted down.

"They never caught it, thing was too damn fast. Eventually the Zoologists concluded that it was a Dire Wolf, which were supposed to be extinct and they stopped the hunters…Every now and then they come back to see if they can study it but it just keeps eluding them." Georgina shrugged "Why did you see it?"

Renesmee forced a laugh "No just a couple of over grown squirrels."

"Here you go, room twenty six on the ground floor." She handed Renesmee a key, to which she murmured thanks and left, stepping out into the now dark car park.

Looking around she ran back towards the trees; only once under there cover breaking into her full speed, "Jacob?" Jake where are you?" she called softly as she ran, careful not to raise her voice too high but loud enough that his overdeveloped hearing would pick it up.

"Jacob, come to me please? I'm not driving tonight I'm staying in town." She stopped and scanned the darkness, her sight not as powerful as a full vampire but brilliant none the less, and picked up the glinting dots of two eyes drawing closer.

She smiled reaching her hand out to the wolf that now sat in front of her, his hot breath misting as it mingled with the cold night air.

"I have a room in town," Renesmee held up the room key "follow me back? I'm sure we can find a way to sneak you in."

Jacob grunted, and sank down to the ground, seemingly in refusal and she sighed, twisting the key chain in her fingers.

"Please Jacob? Don't leave me on my own." Her voice was soft and pleading, her eye's not meeting his.

He stood, pushing his snout into her hand and taking the cuff of her sleeve gently between his teeth and pulling her along with him as he walked her back towards the perimeter of trees.

"Wait here?" Renesmee asked "I'm gonna go to the garage and see if the cars there so I can get my bag, and when the coast is clear I'll whistle. You can get into the motel lot round the back of these buildings, and it's pretty dark round there, you won't be seen. Room twenty-six, okay?"

Jacob sat and nodded, watching intently as turned and walked back through the town, the gas station just within his sight. She disappeared inside, emerging a few minutes later with her back pack over her shoulder and a glance in his direction as she crossed the street and was lost behind a crowd of buildings.

A sharp whistle rang out, and his ears pricked up. It sounded again and he took his chance, slipping from trees and round to the back of the buildings that Renesmee had indicated, careful to keep in the deepest shadow. He stopped at the edge of the car park, flicking his eyes over the doors, looking for her room and at that moment a door on his left flew open and she stood waving him forward.

He darted from the darkness and made it to the room within seconds, it was the first time he'd been inside in years, it made him feel uneasy and trapped.

"I'm going to get cleaned up," Renesmee stated scratching behind his ear "I won't be long okay?"

Jacob hopped up onto the queen sized bed, laying his head between his large paws as she crossed the room, stopping at the small TV in the corner and turning on to a sports channel before closing herself in the bathroom.

She turned on the shower, letting the hot water run through, peeling off her clothes and discarding them in a muddy pile in the corner of the white tiled room.

A long breathy sigh escaped her mouth as she stepped under the steaming water, grey /brown water pooling at her feet and disappearing down the drain along with the suds of the generic motel soap, its harsh smell burning her nostrils.

Her peace was interrupted by a rap of the front door. She heard a loud thud and assumed it was Jacob leaving the bed. Wrapping a towel around herself she stepped out into the main room, finding him hidden between the wall and the bed, his body barely covered by its length.

"Just a minute!" She shouted as the knock sounded again, and pointed the wolf into the bathroom, pulling the towel tighter around her body as she watched him move soundlessly out of sight before opening the door enough to poke her head out.

"Hi, I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you," Georgina smiled from the other side of the door "but I noticed earlier that you looked a little peaky and I thought a hot meal might make you feel better." she held up a tray with a covered plate, a glass of water and a steaming cup.

"Its not much," she continued as Renesmee opened the door to let her in, eyeing the bathroom door quickly and watching as Jacobs red snout pulled back from the doorway "just some potatoes and chicken."

"Oh no, that's more than enough, thank you!" Renesmee smiled.

"You're welcome," Georgina touched her arm "If you need anything else don't hesitate to ask."

She walked towards the still open door and waved as she disappeared back towards reception. Renesmee pushed the door shut and slipped the chain across.

"Jake?" she called and the wolf slid out of the bathroom and towards her. She looked over the tray that rested on the bed, lifting up the plate cover and grimacing at the selection of human food and turning to Jacob "You want this?"

Jacob sniffed at the plate and then quickly scoffed down its contents, while Renesmee fished a set of pajamas from her bag and pulled them on. She picked the now empty tray and placed it on the floor at the end of the bed, before walking around and slipping under the sheets.

The wolf peered at her over the bed "Goodnight Jake." she whispered, flicking off the light as Jacob sank down to the floor. She lay still, listening to his breathing and the scratching of his claws as he moved to get comfortable.

She sat up "Jacob?"

He stood up from the floor and whined softly. "Sleep next to me?" Renesmee patted the empty space next to her and Jacob cocked his head, looking at her for a second and then jumping back up onto the bed, settling next to her.

Renesmee scooted closer, resting her head next to his, her fingers threading into his fur and her eye's falling shut. "My Jacob." she whispered.

Renesmee sighed, and stretched. Her eye's squeezed shut as she refused to relinquish her slumber, the noise that had woken her continued to hiss in her ears.

She rolled on her side, her hands blindly reaching for the furry body that rested next to her, finding only cold sheets.

Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight. It was still dark, and she could make out the glowing red motel sign through the thin curtains. She focused on the noise, falling water. Slipping from the bed and to the window, she pulled the corner back and looked out into the clear night, no evidence of rain.

"Jacob?" Renesmee whispered, letting the material fall back into place and moving across the room to the bathroom, realizing that the sound was coming from the shower "Jake, what are you doing?"

She pushed the door open and gasped at the man in the shower.

"Ness, what's wrong?" Jacob stopped the water and grabbed a towel, tying it around his hips as he closed the space between them.

Renesmee stared up at him, her eye's wide, her fingers gently touching at the black beard that had grown over his face and hung from his chin "you changed back?"

Jacob nodded "It took me a while but I finally managed," he looked down at the floor wiggling his feet "feels weird to be back on two legs after all this time."

She took his hand, bringing it between them. Her fingers brushed the calluses on his palm, traced the lines that stretched across them and wound there way through his skin. Despite having been in the shower, dirt was embedded under his nails.

Renesmee closed her eyes and brought his hand to her cheek, resting into it with a sigh, his fingers twisting into her still damp curls and a tear rolled down her face "I missed you so much!" she whispered.

"I missed you too Ness," Jacob smiled softly "I know that leaving was wrong, and I wish I could just go back and do it all over…don't suppose you know any vamps with the ability to turn back time do you?"

Renesmee snorted "Unlikely! If I did I'd go back and convince you that facial hair is not a good look for you!"

"Yeah well I kinda agree with you on that one!" He shrugged, thumbing the drying tears from Renesmee's face. "I'll make a run to the store and pick up some razors."

"It's five in the morning; I don't think there's anywhere open right now." Renesmee sat cross legged on the end of the bed "And I think the first thing we should do is find you some clothes…you can't go out half naked and I think a large wolf browsing men's hygiene aisle would attract a whole different level attention."

"I guess you're right, I had enough of that when they thought there was a Sasquatch in the park." Jacob grimaced.

"Actually, they think that you're a Dire Wolf." Renesmee leaned over the side of the bed to retrieve the bag that she'd discarded there earlier, rummaging through and pulling out a large comb. Settling back into her position on the end of the bed she motioned for Jacob to sit in front of her, teasing the comb through his waist length hair "Apparently they had experts here and everything…even hunters."

She paused her combing and Jacob sighed "They weren't gonna catch me Ness, and if they managed to get a shot it I would have healed…if I can survive being crushed by a newborn I can survive a human."

"That's different and you know it!" Renesmee sighed "The newborn broke you're bones he didn't fire a shotgun at your head."

Silence fell between them as Renesmee resumed coming through his hair, three years of knots and tangles gathering at the ends. Jacob was the first to break the silence.

"So where have you been all this time?" he asked, letting his eyes fall shut.

Renesmee pulled his hair back behind his ear and rested her palm against his cheek, rushing through pictures and feeling from the previous years stopping when she reached the last confrontation with her family.

"Zafrina and Kachiri huh? They were some scary looking ladies!" Jacob scoffed referring to her time spent with them in South America and Renesmee slapped his shoulder "Why are you here?"

She dropped the comb onto the bed and slipped down on to the floor next to him, pulling her legs up and cuddling them "I don't really know…well I didn't but I do now."

Jacob looked at her expectantly and she lifted her hand back to his face and showed him the argument with her family and how she'd ended up in the park.

"Your dad didn't tell you why I left?" Jacob asked quietly and Renesmee shook her head.

"He said it wasn't for him to tell," She looked at the floor and picked at the beige carpet "but I'm five Jake, not stupid and I'm not deaf either."

His eyebrows knitted together "What do you mean?"

"That day, the last day I saw you? I heard you and my mom talking…it would've been hard for a human not to hear you both," she shrugged "I heard what you said about Leah and about how you wanted and needed different things. Of course I didn't really know what that meant back then, but like I said…"

"You're not stupid." Jake finished.

"It was hard hiding that I knew why you weren't there and I tried to get my family to talk about it so many times but they just changed the subject, but I listened when they thought I was sleeping. Mom would talk about her visits to Grandpa Charlie and how happy he was for you and Leah. That you both finally found each other."

Renesmee quieted, her gaze still trained on the floor where her strong fingers and sharp nails had picked through the carpet to the floor boards.

"The argument the other day, that started because I was goading him…my dad and he finally snapped and told me a broken down version -It hurt more than I thought it would, even though I already knew the truth, and I needed to leave. I just got in the car and drove and, well here I am."

"Big coincidence, huh?" Jacob smiled, and bumped her shoulder.

She turned to look up at him "What do you mean?"

"You ending up here," he shrugged "the car breaking down near the park where I happen to be living."

"Well maybe not," Renesmee frowned a little "when I started out, there was this moment when I thought "what the hell am I doing?" you know, so I stopped on the side of the road. Then Alice called and said to follow my heart not my head."

"Okay." Jacob looked slightly confused.

"Well I thought it was pretty stupid too," she shrugged "I got to Buffalo and decided to detour to Niagara Falls but I got half way there and my heart started thumping so hard and my stomach was turning and it felt like I was doing something wrong, so I turned around and the closer I got the better I felt. I even tried it a few more times, but if my head said right it was like my chest tugged left."

"Wow, that's…" Jacob shook his head and smiled "Weird!"

Renesmee thumped his shoulder and laughed softly, pulling her lip between her teeth. "But you have to understand Jacob," she glanced at him, her face serious "how much it hurt me, and that I can't forget it just like that!" She snapped her fingers.

Jacob nodded and pushed himself from the floor, readjusting the towel at his waist. He reached over the bed and straightened out the comforter before pulling them back, indicating for Renesmee to climb in.

She slipped her feet under the sheets and he pulled them up around her sinking to his knees beside her. "I understand Ness, and god only knows how much I wish I could take it all back. I made a mistake; I got my feelings confused and ended up hurting those around me."

Renesmee rolled over and scooted back into his body, his arm lazily falling over her and her hand found it's way from under the covers and twisted into his "I missed a lot while I was away, didn't I?" He asked "I mean I barely recognized you, you've grown so much."

"Yeah well you think that's bad," Renesmee yawned "You should try looking in the mirror everyday and not recognizing yourself, especially since my last birthday."

"At least you're still the same height as when you left!" Jacob chuckled, dodging her small fist.

"Shut up! You can't make fun of me," She smiled "you're nothing but an over grown poodle!"

"A poodle?" Jacob sat up "You're calling me a poodle?"

"Fine, I take it back." Renesmee sighed "You're a were-poodle!" She shrieked as Jacob dived at her, his fingers attacking her sides and stomach, and her body convulsed involuntarily with laughter.

"S…stop!" She yelled through her giggles.

"Not until you say it!" He replied, barraging her with another round of tickling.

"Uncle!" She screamed, and Jacob shook his head "Wrong!"

"F…Fine! You're a wolf!" She squirmed "Big, strong, manly were-wolf."

Jacob stopped tickling and looked down at her "See now that wasn't so bad was it?"

Renesmee shook her head as she hiccupped with laughter, reaching her hand up to brush his hair from his face.

Jacob swallowed hard "Um, it's still really early," he sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed "We should try and get back to sleep."

"Yeah, sure" Renesmee nodded and pulled the twisted comforter back up over herself "will you stay next to me?"

He nodded, walking quickly to the bathroom to turn off the light and reclaiming his place behind her.

"You know I love you, don't you Jake?" Renesmee whispered as her eyes began to close.

"I love you too Renesmee." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

The next time Renesmee had woken, early September sun was blazing into the room and Jacobs towel was folded on a chair and he was again, no where to be found.

She padded to the bathroom to ready herself for the day, her stomach grumbling.

As she brushed her teeth she heard a light thump, and opened the door to find the red wolf standing in front of an open window. She waved from the door way and went back to the sink to rinse.

"Sorry," A now human Jacob appeared in the doorway, with the towel replaced around his hips "I got a little antsy being indoors and needed to get out for a while. I tried to get back before you woke up."

"It's okay," She shrugged "I was just gonna run to the store and pick you up some clothes and stuff, so you can go back out if you want too? I shouldn't be anymore than an hour and then we can go out together."

"Sure, sure" Jacob nodded "I'll see you in a little while then." He kissed her forehead and leapt out the back window, the white towel flew back in a second later.

Renesmee pulled on her shoes and headed out the door and across to the garage to pick up her car, thanking the man when he only charged half of what she owed.

She found a wal-mart and grabbed a cart, strolling through the aisles and picking up the items she needed and was back to the motel when she said she'd be, walking in the room to find Jacob spread across the bed watching the TV.

"Hey," he smiled, clicking it off "you get everything?"

"Of course," Renesmee nodded and put the bag on the bed, pulling out a pair of jeans, a white shirt, tennis shoes, a pack of razors and shaving gel and…

"Scissors?" Jacob asked holding them up.

"Yeah, well I couldn't find jeans any longer than these and they're gonna be too short so I figured you can just cut em" up." she shrugged "And maybe trim you're beard a little before you go at with the razors. I think you should leave your hair to a professional."

Jacob grabbed the jeans and stood, holding them up against himself and finding them pathetically short. He took the scissors and cut the bottoms off, then pulled them up under his towel "Feels weird." He wrinkled his nose and disappeared into the bathroom "Oh you left your phone, it's been ringing off the hook….I didn't think I should answer it."

Renesmee picked it up from the bedside table and saw thirteen missed calls with equal voice messages, all from her dad.

She sighed heavily, and clicked the call button barely passing the first ring before it connected.

"Renesmee!" Edward yelled down the phone "Where are you? Alice hasn't been able to see you since yesterday, are you okay?"

"Dad, I'm fine," she hesitated "I'm with Jake."

She heard him sigh "So that's why Alice couldn't get a fix on you? I guess I should have thought of that."

"Yeah. I broke down just outside La Crosse," She told him "and I took a short cut to the nearest town through the national park, and well…there he was."

"Are you okay?" Edward asked again softly.

"I'm good Dad, honestly. I would tell you if I wasn't." She smiled.

"I'm sorry about upsetting you," He said "but we need to talk about it. When will you be home?"

"I know dad, I'm sorry too." She shrugged to herself "I'll be back in a few days maybe? "

"Okay, well you promise to call me if you need anything. I love you Ness, you and your mom are my reason for being."

"You too Dad" Renesmee smiled "I'll see you soon."

She placed her phone back on the bedside table and sat on the bed to wait for Jacob.

"Everything okay?" He asked walking out rubbing his face dry.

Renesmee smiled and nodded taking in his face, now clear of hair and still unchanged in all these years "As good as it can be! I'm sure I'll get an ear full when we get home. Come on let's go get some breakfast."

She threw him his shirt and shoes and fished through her bag for a hair band and threw that at him too. When he was ready she pulled him out the door and headed towards a diner she'd spotted earlier.

"Vanessa?" A voice called out from behind them, and they turned to find Georgina jogging towards them.

Renesmee waved and smiled as she grew closer "I just wanted to see how you were?" She eyed Jacob, glancing between there still clasped hands and his towering frame. "Who's this?"

"Oh, this is my friend Jake, Jake this is Georgina. She runs the motel." Renesmee said quickly.

"Nice to meet you," Jacob shook her hand and Georgina's face turned pink "I surprised her last night, I hope that's not a problem, I just didn't like the thought of her being in a new town all by herself."

"We can pay extra?" Renesmee exclaimed.

"No, no that's fine, it's per room not per person." Georgina tore her gaze away from Jacob "Are you staying longer? I'll get you another key."

"Actually yeah," Renesmee nodded "two more nights if that's okay?"

"Of course, I'll leave the key on your desk. Have a nice day." She smiled before walking away, glancing back to look over Jacob.

"Well someone's got an admirer!" Renesmee quipped as they started walking.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob chuckled.

"Georgina, she spent the whole conversation checking you out!" she huffed a little.

"Well can you blame her?" He laughed loudly, and Renesmee yanked her hand from his and folded her arms across her chest "Are you jealous?"

"No!" She scowled.

"Sure, sure!" He grinned grabbing her hand back "Let's go get that breakfast.

"I'll have the pancakes, with a side of bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, grilled potatoes and a large orange juice please…Jenny, " Jacob smiled as he checked the name tag "oh and throw on a couple of toasted bagels too." The waitress stood next to their table, pencil frozen over her pad and eyebrow cocked. He glanced over at Renesmee who was grinning widely.

"What?" He shrugged "I'm hungry."

Renesmee shook her head and chuckled, turning to the waitress "I'll have a classic burger, rare as you can make it please?"

"Anything to drink?" Jenny asked, scribbling her order.

"Just water, thanks." The waitress nodded and walked back to the kitchen to drop off the order and tend to the other customers.

They fell into a comfortable silence, as life in the diner hummed around them, the peace broken only by a hushed thanks when the waitress brought them their drinks, and the entrance of a small group of girls who now sat at the counter, huddled together and whispering.

Renesmee smirked and tilted her head towards the group so she could hear a little clearer.

"What is it with you?" She frowned at Jacob as he gulped at his juice. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her question and he put the glass down, licking the thin film of orange juice from his lips and Renesmee could have sworn she heard a little gasp from the direction of the girls "Seriously!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He chuckled, unable to stop the smile appear on his face at her expression.

Renesmee lowered her voice so that only he could hear "Over there." she gestured with an almost un-noticeable nod of her head towards the counter "They've be giggling and whispering since they got here," she paused and leaned towards them again "in fact the only reason they came in here is because they saw you sitting in the window! Honestly they're like Alice in Nordstrom!"

"Ness, calm down," he reached a hand across and patted her arm, chuckling quietly "it's no big deal!"

She pulled her arm away "No big deal? Apparently and I quote 'you're the hottest thing they've seen in years' and they're wondering how they can get you to ditch you're little sister! I look nothing like you!"

"Well firstly I am hot," Jacob grinned "and secondly, they have no hope in hell of getting me to ditch you, even if they do think you're my sister…They don't even compare to you."

"That's not the point," Renesmee mumbled "Why are they assuming that were not together?"

Jacob frowned in confusion, and Renesmee blushed.

"I…I mean, we look nothing alike and if I saw us sitting together I would probably assume we were a couple." She shrugged, and blushed harder.

"Ness…" Jacob started to reach towards her but the waitress choose that moment to place their plates on the table.

"Enjoy your meal." She breathed walking away.

Renesmee sat quietly picking at her burger bun, her eye's never leaving her plate. Jacob shoveled the food in to his mouth never taking his eyes from her.

"Hi!" They both looked up at the girl standing next to their table and Renesmee visibly stiffened, an almost inaudible growl rumbling in her throat earning her a worried glance from Jacob.

"I'm Traci." She held her hand out towards Jacob. He wiped his palm on his shorts and took hers briefly.

"I'm Jake and this;" he motioned towards Renesmee "is Vanessa."

Renesmee forced a tight lipped smile at the girl and returned her gaze to her food.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" She smiled sweetly. Renesmee looked up to find Traci watching her expectantly.

"You know what I don't feel so good," she threw her fork onto her plate "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She pushed herself from her seat and stalked towards the back of the restaurant, locking herself in the only toilet. She put the lid down and sat with her head in her hands, focusing her hearing on their table.

"Wow, that's a lot of food!" Traci stated, and Renesmee could almost hear the stupid smile on her face.

"Uh, yeah I guess so…everything looked good, I just couldn't decide." Jacob chuckled nervously.

"So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go catch a movie or something. Your sister, Vanessa was it? We can drop her off where ever it is you're staying first?" Renesmee scoffed at her words and stood up, pulling open the door and walking across the restaurant floor towards there table, where Traci now sat in her seat.

"Um, she's not my sister," Jacob stated eyeing Renesmee warily as she neared them.

"Oh, she's not?" Traci looked a little taken aback, as Renesmee squeezed herself onto the seat next to Jacob and leaned into him.

"Jakey, I'm not feeling so good, do you think we could leave?" Renesmee smiled softly, and nuzzled her cheek into the crook of his neck.

He tensed for a moment before settling, bringing his hand up to her neck and thumbing her cheek "Sure, sure. Just let me get the check." He lifted his hand to get the waitresses attention, asking for her to bring the check over.

"I'm sorry about this baby." Renesmee sighed standing up to let him out as he threw a couple of bills down on the table, turning towards her she caught his face between her hands and tip toed, bringing her lips to his in a manner that could never be confused as sisterly "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

She turned to Traci, her mouth hung open and her eyes wide "It was nice to meet you!" She smiled, grabbing Jacobs hand and pulling him from the diner.

As soon as they were out of sight, she couldn't help the giggles that erupted, holding her stomach as she tried to catch her breath "Oh…my…God!" she gasped "Did you see the look on her face? You could have fit your entire fist in her mouth it fell open so wide!"

Jacob growled and yanked his hand away, hard, making Renesmee stop and look at him, her laughter turning into a hiccup.

"What's the matter? It was a joke!" She stepped towards him.

"You can't play me like that, Renesmee!" He hissed through gritted teeth "We could have just told her that you were my girlfriend, you didn't have to put on a whole show, you didn't have to…"

"Jake, come on?" Renesmee pleaded "It didn't mean anything."

"Exactly!" He took a few steps away, pulling at his hair in frustration "You've known about the imprinting since you were born, it was never kept from you. I will always be there for you. Your protector, you're best friend, you're brother…whatever you need I will be."

"I know that." Renesmee whispered

He leant towards her "But I don't feel like that anymore," he said softly "I want to protect you, and you know me better than anyone else despite the time we've spent apart. But I don't feel like a brother, not anymore…And it's confusing, because I did until last night."

"I'm sorry," She began to sob quietly "I didn't mean to do anything wrong, it's just that they way Georgina looked at you this morning and then that, that…Traci! I just felt…"

"Jealous?" Jacob murmured and she nodded.

"It's not a bad thing, Ness but," He paused to consider his words "you're five!"

"I'll be six in two days!" She almost yelled "I look every bit like a normal eighteen year old, I'm smarter than most people your age and your only argument is because I'm five?"

"This is hard for me to explain." Jacob sunk down to the pavement, resting his arms on his knees "How I feel towards you is based on how you feel about me," he looked at her and she nodded for him to continue "When Jared, Sam and Paul imprinted it was on fully matured women and there wasn't really any question of them not being together as a couple. But with you it was different; you were minutes old so there was no instant attraction just the overwhelming instinct to protect."

"I know all this Jacob!" Renesmee stated, sitting next to him.

"This shouldn't be happening now! It wasn't supposed to be like this at least not until you were finished growing!" His hands were back in his hair and he pushed himself up. "It wasn't supposed to happen just so you could make someone else jealous!"

Renesmee sat her mouth wide from shock as Jacob took off running towards the woods.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well this has been a long time coming hasn't it? Let me start by apologizing, my original summary confused a lot of people ( I swear I don't do it on purpose)- this story was always going to end Jacob/Renesmee.**

**I first posted this story (the first two chapters) on another site in June 2009. It was the first Twific I wrote- I think i've come a long way since then and I think it shows. It's nice to finally put this to bed, although I may do a re-write at some point.**

**Thanks to everybody who read and reviewed and again, sorry to anyone who was looking forward to a little BlackWater action.**

**Redx.**

* * *

**The End.**_  
_

_A large, red wolf strode from the tree line and stopped in the middle of the road a few hundred feet from her car, his eyes boring into hers._

_It sat back on it's haunches, staring her down and refusing to move until eventually she had no choice but to slam on the brakes and bring the car screeching to a halt inches from it._

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?" Renesmee screamed, jumping from the car, leaving it running. "I could have killed you; god knows the thought crossed my mind!"_

_The wolf snorted and her face contorted into anger, her tiny fist making contact with the side of his head and a low growl erupting from him as he stood, hackles raised and teeth bared. _

"_Go ahead!" she snarled. "Take a bite out of me; you honestly think you can hurt me anymore than you already have?"_

_Her words had him standing straight, ears back as he watched her battle the tears. He darted into the tree line and seconds later Jacob emerged, buttoning up his jeans._

"_I didn't mean…I'm sorry I…" he stammered._

"_Spit it out Jacob!" she hissed. "You didn't mean to choose Leah over me? Or are you just sorry I found out?"_

"_No. That's not it!" he pleaded. "I mean of course I'm sorry I picked Leah over you…"_

"_I'm sure she'd love to hear that!" Nessie scoffed, shaking her head._

"_What do you want me to say Ness, huh?" he threw his hands up. "You wanna know that she asked me for sex? That the idea of having to wait nearly a decade for you to decide whether you wanted me or not made me selfish enough to take her up on it? Maybe you want me to tell you that your dad encouraged me to go after her?"_

_Renesmee pressed herself against the car, her mouth open in shock as Jacob shouted at her._

"_Do you want to know that I loved Leah, but nowhere near as much as I love you? Or that that kiss back there made me forget she even existed?"_

_Her nose stung with unshed tears, her glassy eyes staring at Jake's heaving body. "You- you loved her?" she breathed._

"_Ness, please…" he reached for her._

"_No, don't touch me!" she exclaimed moving out of reach and pulling open the car door. "Did you even think what it would be like for me after we left? You were my best friend; I loved you more than…anything!" she frowned and the tears fell. "Suddenly we were leaving and you weren't there anymore. Mom told me that you would be there soon, she was sure of it, but everyday I woke up and you still weren't there and everyday it hurt a little bit more."_

_Renesmee swallowed and shook her head. "You want me to decide Jacob? Fine. I don't want you, not as a friend or a brother or anything else you could have been. Not anymore."_

_A pained look crossed his face._

"_I want you to leave me alone," her voice broke and a sob racked her chest. "Never try and find me and if you ever see me turn around and go the other way."_

_She sank into the driver's seat of the car, the sound of the door slamming shut echoing around them as she watched Jake out the window._

"_I guess I was wrong when I said you couldn't hurt me anymore. I don't think I've ever felt hate before, but I think it's very similar to what I'm feeling for you right now- Goodbye Jacob." the tires screeched in protest, smoking as she sped away from him, a quick glance in the rearview saw him explode into a quivering mass of fur in the middle of the road and a heart wrenching howl sliced through her._

Renesmee sat up in her bed; Jacob's howl still echoing in her ears as she pushed back the covers and slipped her feet to the floor.

It was still early, the sun had barely begun to rise and thick, dark storm clouds hung ominously in the sky.

On the other side of the room, her roommate snorted and rolled over in her sleep and Renesmee suppressed a little chuckle as she walked over to her closet and began to sift through the clothes just as the phone rang.

She darted quickly to the desk, grabbing the receiver and pressing it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Trouble sleeping?" Bella asked from the other end and Renesmee smiled at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Morning mom," she perched herself back on the bed "Alice watching me again?"

"It's only because she worries- we all do," she replied. "Are you dreaming about him again?"

"First time in six months," she shrugged. "The longest gap yet, but you'd think after two years it would stop?"

"You never stopped dreaming about him, sweetie," Bella said softly and Renesmee sighed "Even before we left Forks, you're father would listen to your dreams and he was always there. It's understandable; Jacob is a big part of your life."

"Was, mom," she corrected her. "Was a big part of my life. I made my decision; it's the best thing for both of us."

There was a slight pause on the other end before Bella unnecessarily cleared her throat, "there was actually a reason I called. Edward spoke to Seth last night and he had some bad news- Billy's passed away."

"Oh my god!" Renesmee exclaimed, "What…"

"Rachel found him," she continued "he was supposed to be watching the twins for a couple of hours on Thursday while her and Paul went to see the midwife, but when she got there he was still in bed. It was peaceful- we should be grateful for that.

The funeral is in two days, on the beach at La Push. We've been granted access to the reservation so that we can attend."

"Two days?" she mumbled. "Does Jake…have they found him?"

"No," said Bella. "You were the last person to see or speak to him. There's something else."

Renesmee brushed away the few tears that had rolled down her face, sniffing a little and the sound caused her roommate to stir. She padded softly from the room and closed the door behind her, sliding down the wall. "What?"

"Rachel and Rebecca asked if you would try and find him again- I told Seth that I didn't think you would, but I promised I'd ask." she explained and Renesmee grimaced.

"I didn't mean to find him last time, I…" she trailed off. "I don't even know if it'll work anymore, not after what I did."

"It's your decision Ness, you know what's best. Will you be back for the ceremony?" her mother asked.

"Yeah I'll be there, just let me know what time and I'll book my flight." Renesmee rubbed her forehead and Bella chuckled lightly, informing that Alice had already booked the flight and that she would send her the details.

"Hey, mom?" she said as she was about to hang up. "Tell Seth I'll try okay? I'll try and find Jacob."

"I'll have Alice keep watch on you. I'll call you if you disappear from her sight."

A few hours later Renesmee was loading her weekend luggage into the trunk of her car with her flight details and printouts tucked safely into the front pocket.

She slipped into the front seat and gripped the steering wheel as she steeled herself, letting her mind wonder back to the last time she had found Jacob and what Alice had told her.

"Follow your heart and not your head," she mumbled to herself, placing her phone into a cradle on the dash. "You'll know where you want to be when you get there."

Renesmee turned the ignition of her hand me down Vanquish and it roared into life, the Dartmouth campus disappearing behind her.

She pulled up at a stop sign and breathed deeply as she glanced to her left and then right, finally pulling right when a loud honk sounded behind her.

She had been driving for no more than ten minutes when her phone chirped. Renesmee pressed the button to answer, barely able to say hello before Bella's voice filled the car.

"Alice has lost you, she can't see you!" she exclaimed and Renesmee's eyes widened.

"Already?" she blanched. "I'm not even five miles away from the campus yet, how is that possible?"

"It might not be him." her mother suggested. "It could be something else?"

"I don't know, I…" she trailed off as her eyes caught sight of a town sign "Wilder?"

"Maybe you should wait?" Bella offered. "I'll send your dad or Emmett just in case it's…"

"No, no I'm fine, I think-" her brow furrowed as she entered the small town "could he really have been this close the whole time?"

"I'm beginning to think that this wasn't such a good idea! Wait Renesmee, please?" she pleaded softly.

"I'll call you back." Renesmee mumbled, ignoring her mother as she ended the call. She pulled off the road and switched off the engine, stepping out of the car and taking in her surroundings.

A rumble sounded in the distance and a cold drop of rain landed on her forehead, "Great!" she hissed, walking to the trunk and grabbing her coat.

She walked down the street and the rain became heavier, her hair was saturated within minutes and her shoes quickly became waterlogged.

A coffee shop caught her eye and she immediately darted inside, pulling off her coat and hanging it on a rack in the corner.

"Can I get you something ma'am?" a pimply boy asked from behind the counter and Renesmee chewed her lip as she perused the choices on the wall above his head. She had learned to stomach certain things out of necessity although blood was still a main staple in her diet.

"Tall black coffee please?" Renesmee smiled and the boy blushed as he rang up her order and took her money. "Thanks."

She took her drink and found a table facing toward the back, toeing of her shoes and curling herself into a large chair.

A shrill giggle rang around the shop as the door swung open and a couple stumbled in out of the rain.

"You find us a table and I'll order." The guy said and Renesmee could hear the smack of lips and another giggle.

A slender brunette slipped into a chair at the table next to hers and shrugged of her jacket, placing it over the back of her chair and smoothing out her damp ponytail. She looked over at Renesmee and smiled.

"I love your hair color!" she said "I could never pull it off, I don't have the skin tone but it looks great on you- is it natural?"

"Uh, yeah," Renesmee nodded. "Thanks."

"I'm Olivia." she held her hand out in greeting. "I've not seen you around before, where are you from?"

"Lot's of places," she scoffed sipping her drink. "I'm a student a Dartmouth right now, but originally I'm from Washington State."

"Oh that's so funny, my boyfriends' from Washington State!" Olivia exclaimed turning towards the counter and bellowing unabashedly "Hey baby, where are you from again? I keep forgetting." she tacked on quietly.

"How many times have I told you already?" a voice came from behind her, followed by a low chuckle.

Renesmee's stomach dropped and her nostrils flared as a familiar scent overwhelmed her.

"Ness?" she turned towards the voice, finding Jacob wide eyed and pale, the cups in his hand shook as he looked down at her.

"Jake?" Olivia said quietly, glancing between them. "Is something wrong?"

"I need to leave." he said, abandoning their drinks and reaching for her hand and coat. "Come on, let's go."

"Why, what's going on?" she stood from her chair and took his hand, letting him drag her towards the door.

"Jacob stops please?" Renesmee followed after them and Jake paused, his eyes planted firmly on the door in front of him. "This isn't about…I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be, but this is important. I need to talk to you."

"Okay, so talk." he demanded, refusing to look at her.

"Not here Jake, can we go…" she started, ignoring Olivia's questioning glare until Jacob cut her off.

"Here's fine," he growled. "Just say what you have to say and let me leave."

"It's your dad Jake," she said as quietly as possible. "I'm so sorry!"

"You're sorry?" he finally turned to her and Olivia's hand gripped his arm. "What do you mean you're sorry? What happened?"

"Jake, baby-" she started, her eyes darting back to Renesmee. "You know what she means, sweetie."

"Who-when?" Renesmee could see his muscles quivering under his skin. "Why?"

"Late Wednesday or early Thursday," she tucked her arms around herself; the need to reach out to him was devastating. "Rachel went over to drop the twins off and she found him in his bed. He went in his sleep Jake, he was peaceful."

"Is that supposed to make it easier?" he narrowed his eyes and she bit her lip and shook her head.

"The funeral is in two days, Seth asked me to let you know." she explained. "Your sisters want you there."

"Baby let me go by work and tell them I'm taking a couple of days off." Olivia squeezed his arm. "I'll grab some clothes and come with you."

"No, its fine you shouldn't…" Jacob started but she reached up, sweeping her thumb over his lips to stop his words and a sharp pain pierced Renesmee's chest.

"Do you really think you have a choice in the matter?" she asked softly, offering him a small smile as he shook his head. "Let's go to the salon and then we can get our things together."

Renesmee grabbed her coat and followed them outside. Olivia was just slipping her arms into her jacket when Jacob slumped forward and without warning, sped across the road.

"Jake, where are you going? What about-" Renesmee grabbed her arm when she attempted to run after him.

"Let him go," she looked in the direction he had ran and yelled. "We'll meet you at the airport!"

He threw an arm up in acknowledgment and disappeared around a corner.

"I'll help you with your things and you can ride with me." Renesmee smiled and Olivia nodded, leading her down the street.

"Ness, that your name?" she asked quietly and Renesmee nodded.

"It Renesmee, actually- don't ask!" she scoffed at the look that passed over Olivia's face. "You can call me Ness- or Nessie is fine."

"How do you know Jacob?" Olivia eyed her warily.

"I've known him my whole life," she told her "he was my best friend, my brother."

"Was?" Olivia prompted and she shrugged.

"We had a fight a couple of years ago- some things were said and, well we're just not that close anymore!" Renesmee said. "We haven't spoken since. Probably wouldn't have if…"

They stopped outside a salon and Olivia went inside for a few moments and Renesmee could hear her explaining what was going on.

"Which way is your apartment?" Renesmee asked when she came back out. "My car's just up there if you want to drive."

Olivia turned and pointed to a bright blue door next to the Salon entrance. "I don't know what to do about Jake though; I don't have a key to his place."

"Leave it to me," Ness said, desperately trying to ignore that the fact that they weren't living together made her happy. "I'll call my sister and she can arrange something for him. You go get your things and I'll get the car and meet you back here."

Olivia nodded and let herself through the door. Renesmee pulled out her phone and pulled up the number for the Cullen household as she headed back towards the car.

"Hey mom, guess what?"

* * *

Jacob stirred and rolled over in the bed and Renesmee glanced over as he sat up a manipulated it back into a seated position, the hum of the engines and several other passengers snoring surrounding them.

His eyes flicked to the seat next to him, where Olivia was curled up, eye's closed, headphones still wrapped around her head and whatever movie she had been watching still playing on the screen in front of her.

A hostess that had had her eye on Jacob since the moment he walked into first class darted over to him, offering him everything under the sun and suggesting a hell of a lot more.

"I'll have the largest amount of whiskey you're allowed to serve me." he said, ignoring her attempts at flirting and shooing her away.

"Are you okay?" Renesmee asked and Jake nodded, reaching forward to play with the touch screen in front of him.

He pulled out the headphones and pushed them into his ears just as the hostess dropped a handful of small bottles on his tray along with an ice filled glass.

Renesmee caught her arm as she turned back down the aisle. "I'll have the same as him, please?" she said and the woman cocked an eyebrow in surprise, but walked away to get her drinks.

Jacob pushed the glass aside and grabbed a bottle, twisting off the cap and pouring it down his throat without so much as pulling a face before he moved onto the next one. When identical bottles appeared on Renesmee's tray, she gathered them up and silently placed them in front of him.

He sighed and the ear-buds fell into his lap, "you said Rachel was taking the twins to my dads- she has kids?"

She nodded and smiled, "and another one on the way."

Jacob chuckled and shook his head as she continued. "They're four years old now- Rafe and Billy. The new baby is due in two months."

"Shit!" he squeezed his eyes shut. "I missed a lot didn't I? I didn't even- my dad…"

"It's not your fault Jake." she said softly.

"Have you seen them?" he asked, finally looking towards her his eyes fixed on something past her face and she nodded. "Can…will you show me?"

Renesmee pushed herself out of her seat and walked across to him, perching herself on his arm rest and he flinched, his body tensing as she tentatively reached her hand to his face. A loud breath whooshed between Jake's lips as her hand cupped his cheek, his eye's fell closed and he leaned into her touch as she let him see his family.

Two small, identical boys, running along the sand with Rachel and Paul hand in hand behind them as they walked towards a row of seats where Sam and Emily already sat. A small girl squirmed in her seat next to Sam while Emily tried to tame a wailing boy on her lap.

Sue walked over, releasing Charlie Swan's hand and holding a much younger baby, bouncing it softly in her arms before dropping into her seat and leaning over to talk to Emily.

Quil came jogging down the aisle after a young girl, her waist length plait bouncing as she ran over to Charlie and grabbed his hand, dragging him away and Quil chuckled, walking towards a small, decorated gazebo where Embry stood, twitching nervously while Billy gripped his arm and whispered something to him.

Jacob pulled back with a frown, "Embry got married? Did he imprint, who is she?"

Renesmee scoffed as he bombarded her with questions, "Leah." she told him softly and his mouth fell open.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" he said loud enough that several other passenger turned to look at them. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"Well I don't know all the ins and outs of it, but from what Seth's said, after you left Leah moved to the city and stopped phasing." she explained. "About a year later, she went back to the rez and Embry imprinted on her. Apparently neither of them took it very well at first, but they worked it out. They got married about a year and a half ago, just after Leah had Harry- that was the last time I saw any of them."

Beside them Olivia began to stir and Jacob's head shot round to look at her.

"She seems nice," Renesmee said quietly "she really cares about you. Does she know?"

"I know and no, she doesn't." he mumbled as a voice rang through the cabin, notifying them of their descent in to SeaTac.

"I have a car waiting at the airport, you wanna ride with me?" she looked at him expectantly. "If you want to run, I can take Olivia up to the rez if you'd like?"

"Can I drive?" he asked.

"Sure, sure." she nodded and went back to her seat.

The drive from Seattle took half the time it should've. Apparently Olivia had never been subjected to speed freak Jacob before and spent the entire journey with her hands on the dashboard, Renesmee was pretty certain that there would be gouges if they could ever pry her fingernails from the plastic.

Jacob skidded to a stop and pushed open the door at the same time as the screen door to the Black residence crashed open and Rachel came rushing towards him, clutching her bump and tears streaming down her face while Paul looked on from the doorway.

"You're here!" she sobbed into his chest. "I can't believe you're really here!"

Rachel suddenly pulled back, her face clouding with anger as she looked up at her younger brother, her tiny hand clenched into a fist and reared back and Jacob held his hands up as Paul jumped from the porch and headed towards them.

"Rach?" Jacob warned, "Remember what happened last time you tried to hit one of us?"

She dropped her fist and span on her heel, walking silently back towards the house. "Paul, would you mind baby?"

Renesmee winced at the loud crack as Paul's fist connected with Jake's nose and Olivia gasped, rushing towards him as he bent forward clutching his face.

"Sorry dude," Paul shrugged "but you deserved that and a hell of a lot more."

Jacob nodded and clicked his nose back into place, informing Olivia that he was just going to get cleaned up.

"What the hell did he do that for?" she blanched as he disappeared into the house.

"Jacob hurt a lot of people when he left here." Renesmee told her. "No doubt it'll be more than just Paul who wants to take a bite out of him, but its how they deal with things. They'll get over it…they need too."

"Ness!" she turned at the sound of her name and saw Seth walking towards them. "It's been too long. Where is everyone?"

"Hey Seth!" she smiled letting him pull her to his chest. "Um, Jake's inside."

Seth noticeably stiffened at her words and released his hold on her. "You found him?"

"Yeah, in Vermont." Renesmee turned to Olivia. "This is his girlfriend, Olivia."

"Nice to meet you," he offered her a stiff smile. "I'm gonna go find Jake."

Renesmee sighed; hearing the exact moment Seth found his Alpha, the tearing of fabric and snapping teeth followed by Rachel bellowing for them to get out of the house.

"Come on I'll introduce you to his family." she lead Olivia inside and found his sister sat on the sofa while Paul stood awkwardly in the far corner of the room.

"Hey Rachel," Renesmee said, grabbing her attention and leaning towards her, enveloping her in a hug. "Sorry about your dad."

"Thanks Ness," she squeezed her back. "And thanks for finding Jake for me; I know you two aren't…"

"Its fine, honestly." she grabbed Olivia's arm and pulled her forward, introducing her and Paul scoffed a little earning him a glare from his wife.

"Is it true?" the door burst open and Embry and Collin came running into the house. "That fucking douche bag finally came back?"

"Nice to see you too, Em!" Renesmee smirked.

"Seth took him outside for a brotherly talk." Paul chimed and Olivia cocked her eyebrow in surprise.

"I didn't know Jake had brothers too, he never said anything?" she said quietly and Paul scoffed again.

"I'm guessing there's a lot Jake hasn't told you." he said walking towards her. "Which makes a change, cause' he's usually the first to go blabbing secrets."

"Paul that's enough, it's not her fault." Rachel chastised him and he sighed.

"You're right, babe," he leaned over and kissed the top of her head before turning to a red faced Olivia. "Sorry."

"That's okay," she whispered and Renesmee noticed her eyes shift behind her nervously. "Uh I think I'm gonna go get my things from the car."

"Collin?" Embry gripped his shoulder as the younger wolfs eyes followed Olivia around the room and out the door. "What the fuck, dude?"

"Oops!" Paul chuckled. "Jake's gonna be pissed!"

"You mean you just…?" Embry blanched. "Her?"

"Shit, that guy really has no luck when it comes to women does he!" Paul scoffed, dropping onto the couch and turning to Renesmee. "First your mom, then you, then Leah and you again and now he's gonna loose the new girl- if I were him I might seriously consider going gay!"

"Shut up!" Rachel scowled, her eyes flicking towards Renesmee who was frowning deeply at his words.

Seth walked into the room from the back of the house, adjusting his shorts at his hips with Jake following him and Renesmee couldn't help the little squeak she gave at his nakedness.

"Oh come on Jake, is that really necessary?" Rachel turned away from her brother, "Paul give him a pair of your shorts."

"Hell no! I'm not having his junk flopping around in my clothes!" he exclaimed, sinking further into the chair.

"The longer I have to see him like that, the longer you go without sex- it's your choice baby." Paul leapt to his feet and ran out of the room, returning in a matter seconds.

Jacob mumbled his thanks as he tugged the shorts on, his eyes finally meeting Embry's. "Uh, I hear congratulations are in order?"

There was barely a twitch from anyone as Embry's fist smacked against the side of Jake's head, "thanks!"

"You're welcome." he doubled over as another blow winded him. "What the hell was that for?"

"Leah." Embry shrugged, perching himself on the arm of the couch. "So where have you been? Last we heard was when Ness found you in Wisconsin."

"Vermont." he said before turning to Rachel. "Where's Liv?"

"Uh, she went outside to get her things." she told him. "You want me to go check on her?"

"I can do it!" Collin chimed in enthusiastically, ducking his head when Jake turned to him with a confused scowl. "You know? If you want…I don't mind, she seems nice."

"What's going on?" Jake scowled and Collin looked petrified as he shook his head and backed toward the door. "Someone need's to tell me what's happening, and fast!" he demanded.

"Calm your furry ass down, bro; it's nothing to worry about." Paul said placing a hand on his shoulder and grinning over at Collin. "Cole's gone a gotten himself a little crush on your girlfriend, that's all."

Within seconds, Jacob had the younger wolf pinned against the door by his neck, a feral snarl radiating from deep within his chest. "She's mine, you got it? She loves me- not you, so take your imprint and shove it!"

"It doesn't work like that and you know it!" Collin managed as his face began to turn red and Renesmee could see his skin begin to ripple has he tried to hold back from phasing. "I can't just turn it off."

"You'll figure it out." Jake spat. "I had to!"

"Jacob!" Renesmee crossed the room and gripped his arm. "Let him go Jake, it's not his fault, you of all people know that you can't help who you imprint on."

He yanked from her grip like she was on fire and turned to her slowly as he let Collin slip down to the floor, looking her right in the eyes for the first time since she'd found him and the level of pain that she saw made her stomach churn.

"Like I could ever forget!" he growled, yanking open the door and storming outside.

The rest of the pack listened intently to what was going on outside and Renesmee watched through the lace curtain as Olivia's hand flew to her mouth.

"What's he doing?" Rachel asked, looking up at her husband.

"He's breaking up with her-" he sighed. "She's crying, but on the whole I'd say she's not taking it too bad."

Moment's later Jacob cam barreling back inside and the rest of the guy's quickly attempted to look as if they hadn't been listening as he rounded on Collin.

"She need's a ride to the airport, keys are in the ignition." Collin stared wide eyed at his seething Alpha. "Go!"

The pack parted effortlessly as Jake walked towards the back of the house.

"Where are you going now?" his sister jumped from her seat and started after him.

"Relax I'm not leaving yet," he mumbled. "I just need some time on my own."

"You've had five god damn years on your own, you selfish bastard!" she spat and he stopped in his tracks. "You only had yourself to blame for what you did, yet you upped and left without a word. You left your brothers, me- dad."

"We spent years looking for you and you didn't even let us know you were okay!" her voice began to crack as Paul's arms enveloped her. "The only reason we knew you were alive is because Ness stumbled across you- that was the only reason dad died knowing he wasn't following you."

She turned into Paul's chest, his hands rubbing soothing patterns in an effort to sooth her sobs as his eyes bore into her brother.

"Rach, I'm sorry…" he started and she shook her head, pulling back from her husband to look at her brother.

"Sorry doesn't cut it anymore, Jake," she said tearfully. "This isn't about a lost toy, or forgetting a birthday- you broke our family and it's gonna take a lot more than 'sorry' to make it all better. Come on Paul, I've had enough of this place for today, let's go get the boys and go home."

Paul let her lead him towards the door and she stopped her hand on the knob as she turned to Jacob.

"Just so you know, the funeral is at sunset tomorrow- I'd be grateful if you could at least hang around that long." and she turned and left.

Embry was the first to break the silence that fell over the room. "I should get back too- Harry's decided that Lee's makeup belongs on his bedroom wall and won't leave the damn stuff alone, and Kalei's teething so…good to see you back Jake, just let us know when you're leaving next time, okay?"

Seth followed him silently out of the house, leaving Renesmee and Jacob alone. She turned towards him, his withered posture making him seem smaller than he was.

He sat down on the now vacant couch, and sank into the cushions and Ness could see his eyes flicking around the room, taking in all the changes and finally coming to rest on the folded up wheel chair in the far corner.

"I'll leave you too it," she said backing towards the door. "For what it's worth Jake, I really am sorry- for everything. If you need anything, I'll be back at the old house."

Jake's eyes stayed fixed on the chair, his body so still that if it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest she would think he'd frozen.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Renesmee pulled open the door, stepping out on to the porch and letting it close quietly behind her. As her first foot hit the soft earth at the bottom of the steps she heard him break, shuddering breaths that quickly became louder and uncontrollable until he was all out sobbing.

She leapt back up the steps, her hand on the screen door when a growled "just leave!" stopped her dead.

"No." she barged back into the house and found Jake standing in the middle of the room, shoulders shaking and his face wet with tears. "I'm not you!"

"I get it Renesmee!" he screamed. "I made the wrong choice and everyone else has had to pay for it, I fucking get that, okay? But I'm not the only one who fucked up here- I was fine with my life before Leah had to go and ask of me what she did.

I admit that I could- should have tried harder to ignore her, but I didn't and I can't take it back."

"You're right; it's not all your fault!" Renesmee said quietly, "but running like you did made the consequences a whole lot worse- in fact I'm pretty sure the only good thing to come out of this is Leah and Embry.

You hurt so many people, Jacob. It's not going to be easy for them to forget."

"I hurt you." he looked up at her through wet lashes and she nodded. "I was never supposed to hurt you, I was supposed to protect you at all costs- you were my heart, my soul, my world and I didn't do what I was supposed to do."

"Nobodies perfect," she said softly, taking his place on the couch, hands folded in her lap. "Everybody makes mistakes."

"Even you?" he asked.

"Especially me- there are things that I would take back in heart beat, if I knew how." she shrugged and patted the seat next to her. "Come and sit down- despite my lineage, I don't bite."

Jacob scoffed but shook his head. "I can't."

Renesmee cocked an eyebrow, "You can't or you won't?"

"I can't, not after-" he swallowed hard. "Not after what you said to me that day, I have to do what you say- I shouldn't even be in here with you, it hurts to be here, I've been hurting since the coffee shop…"

"Oh!" Renesmee jumped to her feet. "I'm sorry; I should go- I didn't mean to…"

She headed for the door, her hand on the knob- her stomach churning painfully and her heart thumping uncontrollably.

"Please," his voice was so low she thought she'd misheard him. "I don't want to be alone."

Renesmee turned back towards him, fresh tears running down his face and she couldn't stop her own as she ran towards him, looping her arms around his neck and crushing her self against him.

She felt him tense and grunt, his hands gripping her waist.

"I take it all back." she whispered, "Everything I said that day- I didn't mean it, I was angry and upset. I missed you so much Jacob Black and I want you back. I want my best friend back!"

Jacob's body softened immediately at her words, his hands slipped around her back, locking her in his arms as his head dropped to her shoulder.

She felt his chest shudder as he drew in a harsh breath, his hot tears running down her neck as she brought her hand up to thread through his shoulder length hair.

His legs wobbled underneath him and Renesmee felt herself reaching out to steady her self, Jacob still clutching her tightly as she guided them both the floor, her knees wedged between his.

"What am I gonna do?" his words were muffled against her shoulder. "He was my dad- he was supposed to be invincible. What am I gonna do without him? I have nothing…"

"Don't you dare!" Renesmee exclaimed pushing him away. "Don't you dare try to tell me you have nothing. Do you really think that Rachel would have reacted like that if she didn't love you? Or Seth and Embry?

They all love you Jake you are their family and they're yours. No amount of running or hiding will ever change that."

Her hands gripped his face, pulling it up to look at her. "Okay?"

Jacob nodded, her thumbs sweeping the moisture from under his eyes and a small smile pulling at her lips as she let her hands fall into her lap.

He sighed, pushing himself up from the floor and walking towards the hallway.

"Where are you going?" Renesmee asked, jumping up after him.

"See if my stuff is still in my old room-" he mumbled. "I shredded the only clothing I had with me when Seth found me. I have a feeling that Rachel will disembowel me if I even think about turning up in these shorts."

"Well then I guess you're lucky that Alice is…well, Alice!" Ness reached out and caught his hand, dragging him back towards the kitchen and pushing him into a seat. "I called my mom after you bolted in Wilder, she had Alice stop and pick you up a suit and shoes- they'll be here with more than enough time to spare. Now, you hungry? I'm starving."

Jacob nodded and folded his arms on the table, resting his head on them as he watched Ness whirl around the kitchen.

She pulled open the fridge, finding a carton of eggs and some softening vegetables, shrugging to herself before grabbing them and depositing them on the kitchen counter while she searched for a pan.

A surprised gasp escaped her when Jake suddenly appeared behind her at the stove, hands either side of her trapping her in.

"What are you doing, Jake?" she frowned, clicking the ignition switch and igniting the gas ring.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ness watched one of his hands move, feeling it moments later, tugging lightly on the ends of her curls as Jacob leaned in, breathing deeply.

She grabbed the pan and dropped it noisily on the hob, her heart was going wild in her chest as she tried to ignore his proximity.

His fingers left her hair and trailed down her back to the hem of her shirt, slipping underneath and following the waistband of her jeans until they reached her hip.

Renesmee let him turn her round, her hands going behind her to rest on the counter, a steel spatula grasped firmly in one as her eye's found Jake's- the usual warm chocolate brown swallowed by the black of his pupils.

"I asked what you were doing?" she growled, tensing as he gripped both hips and stepped towards her, pressing the entire length of his body against her and she had to look up to see his face.

"Something I should have done two years ago." he breathed, quickly ducking his head down and pressing his lips against hers.

The handle of the spatula buckled in her grip, her body frozen in surprise at the sudden heat of his mouth against hers, the tip of his tongue on her lips bringing her out of her daze.

"Hmm, Jake no-" she brought her hands up and pushed against him, tucking her chin down to break the kiss. "We shouldn't…I can't…"

"You're my imprint of course we should, just let yourself go." he cupped her face and lifted her head back up, his lips much more forceful this time and his tongue pressing for entrance.

Renesmee pushed against him again, but he stiffened his stance, his grip on her face tightening and her eyes opened wide as she simultaneously bit down on his lip and swung at him with the spatula.

"I said no!" she yelled wildly as he staggered back against the kitchen table, hand to his mouth and a red welt appearing on his side. "I meant what I said earlier, I missed you and I want you back, but that does not give you the right to do what you just did. Imprint or not, I told you no!"

Jacob dropped back in to the chair, the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes, "shit, shit, shit! I'm so sorry- god I'm sorry!"

Ness swallowed and turned back to the stove, turning it off and tossing the mangled spatula into the sink.

"I don't think me being here is a good idea." she said softly. "I'm gonna leave."

"No, please Nessie-" she held up her hand to stop him, shaking her head as she walked through to the front room to grab her jacket with Jacob trailing pathetically behind her.

"I can't be anything more than a friend right now Jacob, you obviously want the kind of comfort that I can't give you." she threaded her arms into the sleeves and pulled her hair free of the collar. "I think it's best if I go home."

"I'm sorry Renesmee, please don't leave me. I can't be alone here." he pleaded, reaching for her hand.

"Then I'll call Quil or Seth for you." Renesmee pulled free from his grip and walked to the door. "I'll be back tomorrow to help you get ready…will you still be here?"

Jacob nodded, his gaze fixed on the floor as she opened the door and stepped outside.

"I love you Jacob, I think I always have and I know I always will-" her eyes filled with tears and he looked up just in time to see them fall, "but now isn't the right time."

"Okay." he offered her a small smile and she let the door slam shut behind her.

* * *

When Renesmee returned to the house the next afternoon, she scolded herself for doubting that Jacob would still be there. She jumped up the porch steps, garment bag in hand and knocked on the door to announce her presence before entering.

A quick glance around the front room showed no sign of him as she draped the bag over the arm of the couch and went searching.

"Jacob?" she called, her eyes flicking towards the open door of his bedroom but finding nothing.

"I'm in here." a voice called from the end of the hallway and Renesmee found herself standing in the open doorway of Billy's room with Jacob perched on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and head hanging dejectedly.

His hair was gone. Haphazardly chopped back into the short crop he'd had all those years ago.

"Hey." she said softly and he lifted his head up towards her, his eyes puffy from crying and ringed with dark circles. "You get any sleep last night?"

He shook his head and let it drop again and she crossed the threshold to join him, her hand tentatively reaching out to touch the newly cut hair at the nape of his neck and he slumped into her, his head sliding down to rest on her lap.

"I'm sorry Ness," his voice was quiet. "What I did last night…"

"Forget it Jake," she patted his cheek. "There are more important things to worry about today. Come on let's get you showered, suited and booted."

Jacob righted himself and stood, leaving her on the bed and heading out of the room towards the bathroom, stopping as he got to door and turning back to her, "nothing is more important than you."

Renesmee sat staring at the doorway long after he'd walked away, listening as he showered, the clattering of bottles and growled curses and only moving when she heard the water turn off and the thump of his feet hitting the floor as he stepped from the tub.

She walked back to the carefully discarded garment bag and unzipped it, grabbing two pairs of shoes from the bottom and peeling it away from its contents.

Jacob met her halfway down the hallway, and she cursed her inherited tendency for blushing at the sight of him wrapped in only a towel.

"Here," she shoved a rather expensive looking suit and a pair of black leather brogues at him. "Socks, underwear and tie are on the hanger under the shirt. Alice said to remind you to keep your hands out of the jacket pockets or you'll wreck the shape and it'll hang all wrong."

She looked up at the bemused expression on his face. "Does she really think I give a shit about how the damn suit jacket hangs on me? I'll be lucky if I don't phase and shred it before the ceremony finishes."

"She's just trying to be helpful, she doesn't mean anything by it." Ness said, pulling at imaginary lint on her dress. "You go get dressed and I'll be out in a minute- I'm just gonna get changed in the bathroom."

Renesmee closed the door behind her, Jacobs' scent still lingering in the air with the heat of his shower, swirling around her as she hung her dress on the back of the door.

She stripped off her clothes and folded them neatly, placing them on the lid of the laundry bin before slipping her dress from the hanger and pulling it on- a quick check in the mirror and she slipped on her shoes and went back out to join Jake.

"Seth's here." Jacob was standing in the front room, hands stuffed in the pockets of his dress pants, the top two buttons of his black shirt undone and the tie nowhere to be seen. "You look pretty."

Ness smoothed down her tea length dress. "So do you- let's go we don't want to keep anyone waiting."

When they got to the funeral home, Jacob was whisked away by his sisters to the front of the room, his eyes never leaving the casket that sat lengthways at the end of the aisle, lovingly draped with flowers and tribal tapestries.

Renesmee was eventually joined by the rest of her family, her mother taking her hand and giving her what she assumed was supposed to be a reassuring smile while her father looked on rather un-amused, his gaze flicking between his daughter and the alpha wolf.

Emmett attempted to lighten the mood with a comment about vampires bursting into flames on consecrated ground, but instead of laughter was met with a series of groans as Rosalie shoved him into his seat.

She kept her eyes on Jacob for the entire ceremony- he sat stoically between Paul and Rebecca, his shoulders slumped and his head down as various members of the tribe gave eulogies for his father. At one point, while her grandpa Charlie was tearfully regaling the congregation with tales of his life long friend, she saw Paul reach out and grab his hand, his knuckles white with the strength of his grip and after a few moments Jake had nodded minutely and he'd let go.

Her entire body ached with the need to go to him.

Edward's hand left where it rested on the back of Bella's chair and squeezed his daughters shoulder, she covered it with her own letting him feel everything she was feeling and at the end of the pew she saw Jasper twitch.

Everybody stood as Quil, Embry and a few younger pack members carried the casket from the building, filing slowly out after them and watching as it was driven away, bound for the crematorium.

Jacob searched for Renesmee as Rachel and Rebecca slipped into Paul's car, Rebecca's husband clapping him on the shoulder and motioning for him to take the passenger seat up front, next to his former pack mate- he finally found her standing under the shade of a tree with the rest of her family, her hands twitching at her sides as she looked back at him.

* * *

He moved almost unconsciously around the old house, nodding and shooting stiff smiles when people he barely knew relayed there condolences to him. Rachel went from bawling uncontrollably with Rebecca one minute to den mother the next. His eyes had widened the first time when she'd gone from a blithering mess on the sofa to commanding Seth around the kitchen, he'd looked at Paul who'd shrugged and chugged half his bottle of beer.

The Cullen's hung in the background, intermittently shifting around the room and 'mingling' as best they could and every couple of minutes he'd seek out Renesmee, his wolf and his soul feeling somewhat calmer whenever she came into view.

"Jacob?" he gripped the glass in his hand a little tighter and turned slowly ready to greet another mourner, instead finding Leah, her long hair pulled back in plait and a warm smile on her face.

He stared at her for a moment- not entirely sure what to say or if he would even get the words out of his mouth if he did and she shocked him when pulled him into a hug which he returned quickly before letting her go.

Jake glanced around the room, finding Embry who nodded and turned back to talk to Quil.

"I'm sorry about your dad, he was a great man- little Harry's been asking for him all week." she told him, wrapping her arms around herself as he blinked down at her. "Listen Jake, I know that…"

"I'm sorry too." he said cutting her off. "I'm sorry about what happened between us and that I treated you the way I did- you didn't deserve it."

"Damn right I didn't!" she exclaimed, cocking her eyebrow at him and a wry smile pulling at her lips. "But if I'm gonna be honest- and I am in no way saying you were right- what you did changed my life." she looked over her shoulder at her husband. "I have something I never thought I'd have. A family."

"Well- I'm still sorry." he shrugged and Leah popped her hip.

"Did Embry punch you for me? Did it hurt?" he nodded twice. "Well then we're as good as we're gonna get. Now if you don't mind, I finally have a night free from my gorgeous babies and I have oh- about six years of not being able to get drunk to make up for!"

She squeezed his arm and walked across the room to Embry, swiping his drink from his hand and silencing him with a kiss when he began to protest.

"How are you holding up?" Bella practically floated at his side, the wine filled glass in her hand nothing more than a prop as she smiled up at him.

"I'm not too bad- yet, but we still have a few hours to go and I have it on good authority that Alice is particularly fond of this suit. It would be a shame for everyone to miss the look on her face when I shred it." he grinned as a whispered 'you'd better not, mutt!' reached his ears.

"Edward feels bad about what he said all those years ago- for encouraging you." her eyes scanned the room as she unnecessarily fidgeted. "He was still a bit sore about the imprinting. And I'm sorry too, for taking her away- I should never have done that too you or her."

"You wanna hear a joke?" he cocked an eyebrow at her and she motioned for him to go on. "What's it like kissing a vampire?"

"Well gosh Jacob, I don't have the slightest idea-" she frowned exaggeratedly. "What's it like kissing a vampire?"

"It's a pain in the neck!" Emmett stuck his head on Bella's shoulder and waggled his eyebrows at Jacob. "Was I right?"

Jake smirked and finished his drink. "Uh- do you know where Ness is?"

"She went back up to the house about ten minutes ago." Bella told him, reaching her hand out for his empty glass and nodding toward the front door.

* * *

Renesmee sighed as she let herself sink into the plush white couch, her eyes momentarily gazing out of the glass wall of the Fork's house and into the lush green depths of the forest before they slid shut.

She heard the front door open and softly close, it's movement causing the stale air in the house to swirl until Jacob's familiar scent hit her nose.

"Over eight years later and we're back to where it all began." she said, smiling as he came closer- her eyes remaining closed. "I guess it's weird that I remember that day, but it's as clear to me as yesterday."

"Can we start again?" his voice was low and pleading. "Can we go back to that day- forget everything else and just start over?"

Renesmee opened her eyes to find Jacob leaning over the back of the couch, his eyes meeting hers and a smile split across her face. "Hi."

"Hi."

* * *

**E/N: If you made it this far, thanks again. If anybody is interested there is a companion piece to this fic called 'Going Down Swinging'- it's Leah and Embry's story and is set after chapter one.**


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